>-<

an anger post

2007-07-28T18:26:00.000-07:00

i despise imbeciles. if there's one thing [or group of persons, in this context] that i can really REALLY do without, it would have to be these less intellectual units of society. morally deprived, they cause abnormally ballooned havoc and disturbance, therefore leading to less well-crafted structures of your beliefs. they blame everything on you when they encounter a non propitious discourse, without even considering that they acted out a large role as to why they wither in their undescribably repugnant disposition today. in line with their insipid philosophies [if they even deserve to be named as such], they take all glamour and glory when they achieve what is a temporary exodus from their lethargic doings. they would always have the ill-considered guts and obsolete initiatives to make you feel inferior and helpless whenever they embody rage into their system, oblivious to the fact that they are only making themselves more foolish than they already are. they ignore your pleads of compromising because they want to hamper logic and analysis to be induced into their contaminated, filthy system. they expect, and even mandate, you to do the mediocre things that a normal person could have done with the utmost ease, which is a solid manifestation of their appurtenance and inability to face the harsh reality that they still have a lot to improve on. if you do not comply, they make you feel as if you are of no practical good because you cannot comprehend the simplest of their instructions. well, imbeciles are really good reverse psychologists. it would take a person of the strongest patience to deal with them because their mood swings are something that cannot be easily foretold, and they expect you to be the most well-honed of clairvoyants and keep up with their demands. pointless it is to argue with them because they have a mechanism of becoming deaf to your clarifications, letting you have an impromptu declamation in your void of a room. lastly, they promise you assurances which they NEVER accomplish.

my straight jacket feelings

2007-07-13T10:32:00.000-07:00

Back me down from backing up

Hold your breath now it's stacking up

Etched with marks, but I can deal

And you're the problem and you can't feel

one of the worst feelings in this desolate, terrestrial sphere would have to be censurable for a misunderstanding you did not committ... or actively participated, in the least sense. it clouds your mind so much that you fail to fathom and privately [or publicly, as with this case] express in a large mental scope of the relatively ambiguous and unsurprisingly baseless accusations the opposing parties would have had for each other. being pro-self, you would understandably, and at times ripped off of mental keenness, defend your hostile stance first no matter how much guilt and fault play with your conscience. it is part of the human carnal instinct, it is part of fear, it is part of life. when bothered, you feel powerless, and the only way of accumulating the needed strength to move on and decapacitate yourself from your remorse by placing yourself a convenient notch higher compared to that of your victimizer. you find it easier to discharge yourself of the negativity by letting anger get into you, and even helping it take the best of you.

Try this on, straight jacket feeling

So maybe I won't be alone

Take back now, my life you're stealing

Yesterday was hell

ire is not such a preposterous state, so long as it is a perceptive wrath, since it would help you focus more to impel yourself from the drama and the vicious nonchalance by letting you know that you actually have somebody to depend on in the darkest of woes and labyrinths: yourself. the supposed aftermath of this imbalance need not be vengeance, but what i would like to coin as unbiased understanding, foolishly defined as the processes of the recovering of both parties by trying to thoroughly perceive each other from point of view which should be mostly uninfluenced by prejudice. this ensures a different kind of wisdom not found in books or any other written manifestation of morals for that matter, but in one of the most overlooked and underrated aspects of the self's development: experience. lest an undesirable reputation and fearful self-reproach would overtake your being, the self, of course, would follow or at least pattern after the aforementioned statements.

But today I'm fine without you

Runaway this time without you

And all I ever thought you'd be

That face is tearing holes in me again

love is selfless? i beg to disagree. one too many times i have always been finding myself trying to evade from this inevitable discourse but i unknowingly gained, for some cause i do not know, a miniscule amount of insight regarding this paradox. be it courage or insolence, i shall not digress, for the time being. selfless, in a tautological sense, means being altruistic, a word i cannot inculcate in my emotional vocabulary as it provides me no ground of reason. why? it is selfless. consequently, no amiable state of reason can exist without the self because there would not be a cornerstone of rationality. how could i judge the sincerity of my feelings and affection towards a girl if i myself am not taken in as a part of the mutual dealing? it would be the most pointless of claims to disown oneself for the sake of belligerent conduct, or what they claim so as love. i do still believe in the intent of the feeling, though, and it is best manifested in the unrequitted form. in the state, i would ask for nothing in return, even if the most straightforward of ocular contact would suffice to this dying urge of personal exchange. but i acted with the presence of myself, which all the more justifies my faulty claim [i could not care less should it be incoherent or so] of love being an active expression, and not a flaccid monotony.

Trust you is just one defense

Off a list of others, you don't make sense

Beg me time and time again

To take you back now, but you can't win

self-defense mechanisms were conceptualized to conceal what man is afraid to exhibit to many. they regress the being back into a more alterably acceptable behaviour in order that he constrain himself with the dogmas of the norm. moreover, these facades help in the building away of individualism as it pushes the genuine identity of the beholder further away from reality. had these psychological contraptions not been put to effective practice, the true distinctiveness of a person would have flourished in the due course of time because no ideologies would exist to suppress them. many people shroud there aura with a false cloak of embarassment because for lack of a better alternative, they revert to a life common among society. deplorable are those who take for granted their unimaginary, unattended intentions for they and their cohorts fail to see the potential that their supposed uniqueness could actually contribute to their self-growth and, of course, to society's. there is nothing wrong with being different, but there is something wrong with being ashamed of one's identity.

Take back now, my life you're stealing

Yesterday was hell

one of man's guilty pleasures hitherto is the hunger for idle talk. regardless of social status, it would always add delight to someone's day should he hear of usually malicious stories regarding people with colorful lives. knowing that others out in the open have lives more messed up than his provides him with an eerie sense of reassurance that he is not the most tediously dull breathing organism alive. in a factional sense, this stratification proves to be quite the beneficial one as it uplifts one's self-pride, but at the same time, it clutters the mental capabilities of the person. gossip is engineered to get the public's attention in a way that it catches more than what it deserves, which is, at the least, detrimental as it surrenders the person's attention to the mostly unimportant, and usually petty discussions. one overlooked fact again would have to be the inability of man to decipher the validity of the hearsays that he encounters. so long as he is not the one talked about, he will continue to worship the culture of hogwash tattling. unless these people [no, actually US] learn that we actually have our own lives to deal with, society will remain to be the way it is today: undescribably imbalanced.

And when the memory slips away

There will be a better view from here

And only lonesome you remains

And just the thought of you I fear

It falls away

in lieu with identity formation, there also exists the man who longs to deviate himself from the hackneyed structures of society. he often qualms about not being able to be understood and moreover appreciated by other people. unaccountably, i feel that nobody could ever understand him, because he longs for an individualism that only he knows about. he tries to intercept his sentiments and let it cumulate to his development, therefore leading to a unique combination of traits and flaws that only he possesses. this inability, personally, is not such a bad thing because man needs not to be fully [i reinstate: fully] understood in the first place, as each existence in this spherical world has a different perception of understanding. after pondering some critical thought, i concluded the most that he could get from his comrades would have to be appreciation because at least in that manner, there is a feeling of belonging due to your uniqueness. let us appreciate diversity, for it is in our differences when we shall know who we are, and who we are not.

But today I'm fine without you

Runaway this time without you

And all the things you put me through

I'm holding on by letting go of you

i do not know if i love you because i pity you or i sympathize with you because i love you. the thin line governing the boundaries between empathy and deep affection clouds my vision everytime i think of you. circumstances point mainly to the latter as manifested by what has been occuring around our separate and collective existences. much credit must be given to your undeniably witty gauge on using your inabilities to its finest level as you leave me brainwashed everytime you control my emotions. i let myself be submissive to your game because i do not want to take fault in your breakdowns for i have something i have to live up to. knowing that i compromise more rather than analyze, i feel much apathy because i am usually one who controls my decisions with the utmost intellect. i want to change you and your philosophies in life, but i cannot because everytime i attempt so, i manage to accomplish otherwise. there is nothing harder than to watch you turn yourself into a lethal bomb, and actually feel powerless and do nothing about it. but please remember that there are people out there who actually love you, and this writer just happens to be one of those.

-----

i was listening to The All American Reject's "Straight Jacket Feeling" and voila, all sorts of thoughts flooded my mind.

and i knew that i just had to write it. :)

code switching

2007-07-13T04:57:00.000-07:00

g r i e f. ich brauche hilfe. a p p a r e n t l y. ich bin schwerhorig. p r e v a i l e d. ich bin abhangig von dich. c r o w n i n g. ich habe mich in dich verliebt. t r a n c e. konnen wir uns? e t h n o c e n t r i c. ich wurde dich so gerne weidersehen.
ich interessiere mich fur dich! ich mag dich sehr! magst du mich auch?

atmen sie tief. offnen sie den mund. zeigen sie ihre zunge.
kuss mich. liebe mich.
mein liebe. why are you so far away?

headfirst on chaos.

2007-05-08T04:09:00.000-07:00

it's really funny how you can be there and not there at the same time.

question: are unintentional mistakes worth the gravity of deliberate ones?

if you didn't mean it, should you be blamed hypocritically?

i hate the ability of some people to subtly put you out of place.

loneliness sucks.

left. :)

2007-05-06T20:28:00.000-07:00

misunderstandings lead to many things.

but the most important realization one should make is that misunderstandings should never be the reason for a relationship to fall apart.

fall apart not because something went wrong, but because something was just not meant to be.

i don't know how to say this, but sorry.

for in despair, one finds hope that things eventually will work out again.

if we all should learn to understand.

- crap.

a letter...

2007-03-31T21:18:00.000-07:00

...dedicated to no one in particular, but nevertheless purported to some.

underneath your laughs and smiles lies a whole lot deeper demeanor. i have to admit, at first, i was awed at your seemingly blissful and corroborative actions. you had me at hello, as they say. and i fell for it. it was you who thrusted me up into where i am now, and i owe you in part of what you did. what lay ahead were happy and carefree smiles, smudged with the endeavor that we would, as i hoped, BE. anyhow, i, then, was really thankful because it is not always everyday that i get to encounter such of your kind. the camaraderie we shared was ensnared with hopeful dreams of idealistic togetherness. things were really going my way, and i was beginning to wonder if this was too good to be true.

well, my instincts proved me right.

excessiveness is unwarranted. you ironically went past and failed to meet my prerogatives. what i expected you to elaborate and perform well on unimpressed me. it was surprised at how subtly good you were at concealing your errors. it may seem to discriminating, but i really, at one time, came to loathe why you were brought up to me in the first place. many people perceive the fake you: the one they think is competent enough to battle life's labyrinths without ever dropping a sweat. of course, you could say you're only human, but that would never be a sufficient reason as to why you are in that superficial state.i saw in you what others didn't. your ERROR. fear crept up inside me once i found out how trivial you are.

what's even more sarcastic though, is that you traversed the supposed levels of aquaintance. it was all too much unexpected that i could not help but shiver as you continually forced what you have wanted into my system. gradually, i melted into thoughtlessness, not knowing what to do. i just let it pass by, with numbness all over me.

you try to be omniscient when you know i am better than you. your being is ineffectual enough not to grasp that thought. trying to show me what professionalism it is you have done, you divulge yourself in a level low enough for others to tramp on. question, were you even the one responsible for those things? don't try to be too overassuming because you already are a mess, and it pains me to know that you don't know it. before you try to take hold of other people's lives and unintelligently point out their mistakes, try to look at your own life first, ok? or else, you'll forever be like that: WORTHLESS.

i cannot believe at how insensitive you are, underestimating all the years that we have shared. i have to admit, i may be unaware of how you felt during the past moments, but it did not pave enough way for me to disassociate you into my life. you were, and still are a part of who i am. it was my fault, for most times, and i am willing to redeem myself for whatever transgressions i have done. but not in a way that happened. i expected to hurt, and be hurt. but it proved otherwise. i felt the weight of the world during those times of fragility, with yours beared by me as well. angered by the sudden outcome, i could only sigh of both relief and inconsideration, with more on the latter. the ambiguity bleaked into my rational thinking because what i have been wanting for so long to do to you suddenly went down the drain the moment you showed you rudely capable you are of ignorance.

maybe this is the aftermath of being so rudely obsolete to your wants and needs for god knows when. a tinge of understanding is all i ask, but i failed to do the same to you. i hope that our last pledge, at least, would give me comfort in knowing that we still are on each other's sides, though the intimacy is not that intense. promises are made to be broken, but some, still, are worthy enough to be kept with the utmost sincerity.

now, i feel despair and melancholy, not knowing what to do, not knowing who to believe. i never really thought that after that, much speculation would arise, which i did not dare delve much on. enveloped by too much information and conflict, i barely have the time to ponder on how things are, and how they would be. still, i am in bewilderment. to put it simply, i just hope that whatever you utter is true, and not just some chronic front you put up just so that you could please, moreover, LIE to me. don't let other people into this, for they are in no place to. some could be disparaging enough to cloud you with their inattentive, short-sighted beliefs that you may not anymore have the time to stand on your own two feet. why cannot you believe me? is it because this all came too unexpectedly? within me lies an honest intention, i assure you. i am slowly trying to cope up with the present, and the least i could ask of you is to help me. help me revive that feeling wherein i felt so tranquil at your presence, without worrying over if you're being deceitful or not.

i am starting anew, trying to have a fresh, fervent outlook on tomorrow. wanting everything to be ok, i am cleaning up and mending what's left of me to endow myself a stronger base which cannot be easily staggered nor swayed by whatever hideous comments insolent outsiders lash at me. i am trying to believe that though the truth hurts, it would hurt more if i don't accept it.

i am.

*****
this is one of my vaguest works yet. waa! my writing style's so poor, it's going down the drain! haha. anyhow, i just needed an outlet to vent out my thoughts. :)

enjoy. ang tamaan, e di tamaan. :)

ahead.

2007-01-10T22:28:00.000-08:00

~~BABEBIBOBO~~

~~January 17, and 18~~

~~The New College of Arts and Sciences Building Auditorium.~~

it's over
haha.

a new start. a new year. two thousand and seven words will never suffice to the profound knowledge, and mind you, stupidities, i have gained from the people revolving around me. learning, as they say, should not only be constrained to the four corners of the classroom, and i attest to that. i have grown to have a natural disliking for intellectual peasants, and judgmental people because they do not apply or embody why they were brought to the world in the first place- which is to grow and mature. and please, the aforementioned states do otherwise. they move the progress of humanity backward.

i have one too many times encountered people of this loathsome state that my anger has been subdued to its subtlest level. i don't want to sound as stupendously discriminatory, because i am not. i am just saying that preference is relative. some people just tend to be content as is and hold on to what must be let go, thus their inability to comprehend change. unfortunately, not many people get what i want to say, because they look, but not see. these judgmental entities are those which i consider are the leeches of society. conflicts happen mainly because of them, as they do not even at the least bit try to understand or unearth the real mishap or gravity of the situation. they base everything on a first impression basis. first impression should count, but it should not always last, as there is more to a person than the first encounter.

you claim to study in an intellectually thriving environment. then prove it. please.

anyways, enough of the somber demeanor. let's go to happy times already.

happy times like... the BABEBIOBO! my first production! in 6 or so days, i will be in front of an audience to perform. and god, give me strength not only for me to do well, but to effectively convey the play's message on the importance of illiteracy in the philippines. we should be aware how some of our brightest minds are brought to waste due to lack of education; we have the power to change it, but it is up to us on whether we should provide a better future for these children or not.

i am going to miss the late night dismissals, the group activities, the tension, and most of all, the people whom i've worked so hard with. thank you for the beautiful memories, and here's to a beautiful show.

dahil ang sandiga'y NGAYON!! Bwahaha

and then after that comes the training for the UPLB Jocks! i can't wait to be a deejay!

life indeed, is good. i have a lot to be thankful for, and i hope to reciprocate my blessings somehow, someday.

December 25th

2006-12-25T04:59:00.000-08:00

yo0000After a year's anticipation, it finally is here once again.

Christmas. I have lived all seventeen years of my life trying to find its true essence. But in my mostly unsuccessful attempts, I nevertheless enjoyed each and every one of these by clinging to whatever messages of hope, light, peace, and love I managed to absorb. Still, questions linger in my mind. Why is it celebrated widely throughout? Why do so many people find comfort in it? Why is everybody so caught up about it that it is mandatory to put on an altruistic demeanor, and then get back to cruelty the day after (sad, but true)?

Why?

Those are things whose answers I could only fathom. Judging subjectively, it is not within my initial grasp to willingly succumb to its hackneyed significance as there just seems to be something more. Something more than just what is written in greeting cards, or than what is said by the elders. In consequence of not finding the apt worth of the season, I consent to, as aforementioned, what has been previously established as its importance. I am not trying to bring down these cornerstones of faith as I am in no position to, I am just wondering if I am even worth the greets of 'enjoy the season's spirit,' or 'may you feel the presence of Christmas in your heart,' or whatever.

But this does not mean that I no more have the right to enjoy the day. As far as my capacities go, Christmas is being at ease with the company of myself, and the people I care about. Further elaboration would lead to more confusion on my part, so I leave this as is. I have somehow managed to live up to these ideals in more ways than one, thus my seventeen glorious Christmas festivities. There is just something in the aura of the 25th of December that makes my emotions ethereally tranquil. I get to have a sense of self by seeing others. It makes me look back on who I was and reevaluate if I lived my life the way I want it to be, or the other way around. The homey feeling I get lifts my spirits up despite all the mishaps and squabbles I have encountered. This, I think, is what they call the magic of Christmas. This certain ecstasy that we only wholly get to feel once a year (maybe you could exclude birthdays :) ).

I guess the Lord intended this day to be mysterious, and to a certain extent, unfathomable. Maybe he thought that it would be better off this way, so that we would be living the day as resplendently as we should have been.

But should we always live it this way? Or should we strive for something more?

Happy holidays. :)

a boy i know

2006-12-16T18:04:00.000-08:00

there is a boy i know,

he wishes he was like the fireworks

that provide amusement.

temporary amusement.

he doesn't care if it only lasts for a span of a minute.

he doesn't care if it only lasts for a second.

he doesn't care.

at least he made other people happy.

at least.

he wishes he was like trash.

trash we throw, trash we don't recycle.

trash we loathe, trash we ignore.

trash.

so that he doesn't have to complain,

that he was trash in the first place.

not a human who gets treated as trash,

but as trash and nothing more.

he wishes he was a stone.

a stone that's hard to break.

bury it, or throw it,

it would remain as it is.

it would not bleed, it would not cry.

it would remain as it is.

just a stone.

at least he wouldn't care if he hurts

or gets hurt.

since he would remain as it is.

just a stone.

he wishes he was a knife.

a symbol of fear, a symbol of power.

dangerous and lethal

he wants to be a knife.

a knife that gets driven through the heart.

at least he knows how it is to be inside someone's heart.

at least he knows how it beats for somebody.

at least he knows.

he wishes he was the latest cellphone model.

the one that we want to have.

the one that we have to have.

the one that we dream to have,

at least for the time being.

he wants to be the center of attention.

he wants to know how it feels.

how it feels to be talked about,

to be sought after,

to be.

he wishes he was imagination.

the faint glimpse of reality.

the one we consult in times of need.

the one we run to when we have had enough.

enough of the harshness of reality.

at least he would know how it feels to be inside the mind of others.

at least he would know our secrets.

our inhibitions, our lies, our truth.

he would provide us the hope of what can be.

without reality.

he wishes he was the tears.

the salty substance.

the ones that trickle down our face.

the ones we let our when we are sad.

so that he could know how it is.

how it is to touch the face of others.

to touch them not just when they are happy,

but when they need him most.

at least he could know.

even if he gets wiped out eventually.

he wishes he was the wind.

the one that comes out of our electric fan.

the one that comes out of the aircon.

the one that comes out of our fan.

so that he could provide us with relief.

fresh air from the hot weather.

from the hot weather.

he wishes he was our underwear.

the ones we use to conceal.

the ones we change everyday.

the ones with different colors.

the ones with different styles: thongs, t-backs.

the ones.

at least we are assured,

inspite of the shit.

inspite of the piss.

inspite of the foulness.

inspite of our stench.

he is there for us, to protect.

and to cover.

but then again, these are just wishes.

a far cry from reality.

something that cannot possibly happen.

something that cannot.

but still, he wishes.

he hopes.

he believes.

he wishes.

he is.

that, is the boy i know.

*****

:) a poem i made when i had nothing to do. i like it. heck, i may have disobeyed some of my professor's rules, but i love it just the same. :)

realizations

2006-12-01T17:48:00.000-08:00

god. why is everybody writing realization posts these days? is it in leiu with the constant efforts to make literature (yes, blogging is a form of literature) as condensed as possible? is it because people have no time anymore? is it because they have become too straightforward?

anyways. whatever the reason is, let it be. because i'm about to write some of my own. :) haha.

* as melai said, something good really did happen unexpectedly. :)
* it doesn't hurt to have the mindset of a child. (it could really be helpful at times)
* naruto fillers are starting to piss me off. god, get on with the main story already.
* kuwabara (alfred, from yu yu hakusho) is such an exasperated character.
* the characters i hate most when i watch animes are the main ones or the bida.
* kurama is one of the most admirable and noteworthy characters i have encountered my whole life.
* whenever you go to divisoria, EAT as much as you can.
* i hate tuesdays. i only have one class for that day, which happens to be in the scorching afternoon.
* batangas really is a blessed and providencial place. it was diagnosed (haha, i love this word) with a signal number three alert level, but in spite of that, not that much damage was wrought.
* i love batangas.
* people really do change (this is a long-ago realization, i just felt like putting it in.
* i love NASC5. even though i really feel that i and my groupmates (ryan, rand, zy, gian, telai) are the noisiest in the classroom, that i won't really get that much of a high grade here, and that we are the most watched over bunch by our professor, i still think this class rocks. :)
* i want to have the field trip already. :)
* i need to shape up. physically and mentally.
* i need to study more and more and more and more and more. but this won't be a problem. :)
* sometimes, no matter how much you rant about the indifferences and doltishness of a person, if that person is a born idiot, it would be useless.
* i am not an idiot. i may be stupid or reckless or loud, but i am not an idiot. :)
* full committment and overexpectations are really impossible, but what would suffice enough and be really needed is nothing but good old determination. :)
* i can never be complete.
* i need to take care of my laptop. :(
* i need to get a new umbrella.
* i love math1, math1 group7, math1 [insert section here]. (even though the first assignment was unimaginably hard.)
* i have a lot to be thankful for to ate jas. :)
* i really really am blessed to have anton, melai, kharen, kit, xara, xel, and maggie with me these past few days. [xara if you're reading this mag-comment ka! yey :)]
* i have a life to live.
* i have completed the whole AHGE courses there is to take.
* i miss speech comm1, and cwts 1.
* gregorian chant's christmas album rocks.
* ryan cayabyab is one hell of a musician. :)
* i haven't finished memorizing and rehearsing my lines yet.
* my character fits me. :)
* i am in love with c2 RED. it pains me, though, that the strawberry flavored c2 is not being sold anymore in mini-stop.
* i really like red. RED RED RED RED RED.
* i love UPLB.
* i have been writing one too many things now, and that i should shut up. :)

love love love love love

2006-11-25T19:13:00.000-08:00

it's just the first week of classes but...

I'M ALREADY LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!! HAHAHAHAHA

i love the second sem!

i love the people!

i love uplb!

i love humanities / political science / environmental biology / english / math / tennis!!!!

i love my life!

:) it's true what they say, if you really enjoy what you're doing, then everything (well, almost) will be insert-word-here!!!

haha. :)

unlike some sore losers out there, which i'm not one of. haha.

communication is an art + jb44 wink

2006-11-04T16:19:00.000-08:00

jb44 batch '06

i browsed through my former classmates' blogs, and tagged nevertheless, a while ago. it felt good rekindling ties. ties which i hope will stand the test of time. heck, though inevitably we will meet some others which we will get attached to, it is nice to know that we will always be there for us.

and it doesn't hurt to know where i came from.

the moments we had will continue to make me strive for what i want, since they provide me with the needed information and inspiration to move on. the relationship we have is stellar above others since it is a friendship built not on just laughs, but on sweat, trials and tears as well. but given the misunderstandings, we were able to get back on our feet and show others what we were made of. and we (well, most of us) are not made of effin' plastic, just as they presumed we were. diamonds in the rough are we for we still have yet to fulfill, and hopefully exceed, our potentials. proof? just look at the grades, for instance. dean's listers, scholars and the like cling to your names, and hopefully mine too. look at the faces, and aesthetically speaking, our looks are not mediocre. it's not bragging or anything, it's just reality. i think.

of course, if i just base my judgments on these, then they would be nothing but fatuos, unsound views. what makes 44 really 44 is that we (well, most of us again) never aspire to be within the norm. we dream big, and do big. constrained thinking is not fit for us since we were not brought up that way. it's not just about the academics or the physicality of our beings, but our passion, our desire to be. we were given potentials, but potentials only. it is up for us for those potentials to be concrete, admirable skills, abilities, and talents. i am not writing this public display for others to get quirky at our pride or get irritated at the scrupulousness of the cream (since it is definitely a far cry from all that bluff), but for the 44 of us to realize how blessed we are that we are given the change to help people, change lives, and most importantly, change ourselves.

i miss most of you! be realistic. you can't miss everybody, can you?

in keeping with this, it finally hit me how powerful the art of communication is. everything around us is communication, non-verbal, displayed, or spoken it may be. a corroboration of this is the power of words. notice how three, overused words, i, love, and you, never fail to make a person cry, laugh, and feel something new. one word, die, can cut off a person's life, while another, live, can make the person hang on to what breaths he has left. notice how the power of words can greatly affect us? we do not really need the power to manipulate fire, or telekinesis, or whatever supernatural power there is, to express our feelings, because our words are powerful enough to move mountains, be it in a song, a poem, a novel, or just plain chats.

i cannot ever imagine life without communication, because i think that this is an obvious impracticality. given that we are stripped off of our speaking skills, all that we have left is our actions. the mere placing of the hands to the lips and directing it to one's wife, or the act of entwining one's arms with another and letting that person feel the warmth you've longed to share -- that still is communication, even without words. even the evergreen trees, the lanky houses, the concrete roads, the formidable paintings, the dormant mountains, and many more, they speak to us of what once was, and how that was became an is. they tell us of a past, however distant or contemporary it may be, and of its stories which behold lessons for us to decipher for the betterment of our beings.

everything we see is communication, but it is latent. i repeat, latent. communication is a two-way process, and the former i've stated are just merely one side of the argument. the other side, of course, is ourselves, and that is where the art part of is comes in. we must know, with driven passion, that the stories and experiences that these characters and figures long to impart will cease to exist if we do not listen. we should practice the art of communicating for this is the only way for us to share our knowledge with those in need, inquire about bothering philosophies, learn about new ideas, and know more about life. listening will help us know what we longed to know, and sometimes those we wish we didn't. and more importantly, with listening comes understanding, which is one of the goals of communication. if all of us knew how to understand, then as passe as it is, the world indeed, will become a better place. understanding is not a walk in the part, for it requires one to talk less and listen more. i believe in the egoistic saying that we can never be selfless, but that does not necessarily imply that we cannot be empathic.

you have a voice. use it.

***

haha, la lang. walang magawa. to all the comm arts blocks (x2, x4, c3, and c5), kaya natin toh!!! kahit 1 lang ang major natin next sem, astig pa rin tayo!!! haha. :)

a life that was

2006-11-02T04:38:00.000-08:00

To our former president, Bro. Rafe,

Thank you for all the things that you have contributed to the progress of La Salle. It wouldn't be the way it is now had it not been for your blood and sweat. I grew up with you serving as its headmaster (first to seventh grade), and I liked most of what you did. Landmarks such as the Sentrum, MTDC, Chez Avenir, Cafe Le Barako, and the four edifices welcoming one and all to the greenery of our school, the then BB, JB, MM, and BM, were built under your name. I will remember you for your wisdom and that indelible, cheerful smile on your face. And who could ever forget dear old Bravo? I miss that dog. I liked La Salle the way it was when you reigned. I like it now, but I appreciated it more back then. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for standing up for the school band's rights during one if its last concerts when nobody was listening to the tunes they were belting out which they've toiled so hard for. And as your song number during the said event went, you really lived life your way. Again, thank you.

For you were an essence,
Who yearned to fly up elsewhere,
Who once was betrothed to earthliness,

For you were a spectre,
Who catered to the wants of many,
Who molded the character of most,

For you are now a spirit,
Who has unfurled your wings,
Who now takes flight in the joys of the sky,
Who, finally, lives the dream of seeing heaven.

the best. NOT

2006-10-27T18:17:00.000-07:00

I will try my best to stop saying the phrase "the best" in the paragraphs to come. Why? I just figured that it kinda irritates me. Whenever somebody says, like, "batch [ insert batch number here ] is the best!," or "our [insert name of barkada here ] is the best!" is sort of horrendous. When you say best, it means that you are superlative. As in nobody is above you. NOBODY. But whenever I hear like, 10,000 people say that their barkada is the best, then what will justify its being such? Because it's cool? It's hot? It's got lots of good-looking people in it? God, those are such unadorned, hackneyed reasons. Besides, 10,000 people cannot in chorus fit in to the title of being superior. I know things are relative. But just do not say it in front of me. :)

The first semester has come and gone. And unlike the common notion that the said period is always hell, I believe otherwise. It's only hell if you think it is. It's a friggin' state of mind. Maybe because I did not have math, or chemistry, or bio, but I THINK that even if I obtained such units, I think I can still live everyday without forgetting to smile albeit the face value would not be that dazzling anymore since I will acquire eyebags. Just kidding. :)

As aforementioned, I said that I would not say this semester as "the best," but it gave me a lot of reasons to be thankful for being where I am now. Firstly: for my new-found and further reinforced (redundant? Haha) relationships with my friends. For the former, it was through a fateful subject called CWTS (what the hell does this mean again? Friggin sh*t I forgot) that I got to meet what would eventually be the closest thing I would have to a barkada in UPLB. Actually, I think we already are. :) I hope. anyways, I am absolutely beholden for these wacky weirdoes because they were never, I repeat NEVER, debauched. And none of them were that histrionic or overblown, something you rarely find in… WHEREVER. :) You hear that momma eizel bulldog? You're not bad for me after all!

As for the latter, of course I got to sort of rekindle and further my ties with those I was affiliated with from high school. Unlike then when we were too constrained, we are now in a stage where the word 'pretend' is very obscure to our senses. Shamming is so not the drama here. Anyways, we still have a long journey ahead, and I would like to start everything by telling Melai and Anton that we still have a ton of restaurants to eat at. Though they're not popular elsewhere but here, that does not mean that the sensory pleasure that we'll hopefully savour will be less rewarding. Remember our promise? Ok? :)

I guess this is just the feeling of being overwhelmed by too much that it kinda ironically hurts. Best be it that the memories I came across will be kept here, in my thoughts, for eternity (haha, poetic?). :)

I am looking forward now to getting my classcards and discovering my grades. I already know Fil20 and Spcm1. And I am quite confident that I do not have an uber low grade because I know I worked hard for it, though I did not necessarily give my all.

AIR TV. Wow, how could one anime series make me flow out tears, sincere ones, in just a snap? Highly recommended. You'll learn a lot if you watch this. Really. :) anyways, I am becoming too babble mouthed already, so ciao. :)

I'll end this with a funny but touchy line I got from a friend:

I wanna meet you, talk to you, and know you better, but sh*t I don't know your name.

Haha.

:( CRY :(

2006-10-27T03:53:00.000-07:00

will post a more fathomable post later. later as in not now.

kuya mark.jane.sab.xara.ianne.jude.bhen.ate ran.ate maru.
lloydy.ate jas.ate joan.donna.lira.ate/ mam kei.jasper.mark.
reza.chris.mica.andy.tidibur.aivi.emmanuel.la.bea.mabel.
claire.caren.michelle.happy.christian.abe.mica.eva.angel.
kuya kel.ate pat.ate daph.yami.alex.aia.nelly.iro.elaine.
bea ulit.diane.carlos.ate mae.jane.jeth.stitch.junabel.
joyce.gucci.karlene.ethel.karl.otep.jomille.melai.pia.nina.
nj.jessie.eg.charity.ian.faith.france.davis.ica.ate che.taw.
denise.richelle.rhea.tin.paul.carson.rev.charmz.joana.

kate.maggie.anne.kit.kharen.karen.xel.mommy eizel.aaron.

melai.anton.

god, i'm not even halfway (heck, even a quarter) through.

thanks for making my first sem a very very very very special one. :) like, f*cking thanks a lot.

unlike others who percieve the whole 6 months as hell or likewise, thanks to you, i felt not even the slightest tinge of it.

wrong grammar.ugh.

we may not have starbucks or glorietta or whatever, but we had adel's, lb square, and others + each other. :)

messed-up thoughts.

YESYESYES!!!

2006-10-24T22:37:00.000-07:00

mga beybeh, bebe, fafa, at mama!!!! YES!!! haha. la lang. katangahan.

tapos na first sem.

huhu.

psy1... maawa ka sakin. :(

milenyo's mischief

2006-10-07T19:06:00.000-07:00

UPLB was a wreck. Thanks to the typhoon Milenyo. Classes have been called off for one week for the reconstruction process to take place. I can vividly remember the aftermath of the typhoon to Los Banos.

It was Thursday morning when I woke up to the harsh sounds of the blistering wind. I knew that classes had been cancelled the night before but then, I did not really get why since the weather was still uh, friendly. Talk about strong winds. The experience was really as real as it got. The jalousies were shaking and it was really scary. We were living on the third floor, but our room experience flood, nevertheless. There was no electricity, and not water. We were like stranded victims. Actually, we were. All we could do was sleep. Now, that is one thing which I had problems with because there was no electricity. Horrendous. Lucky for Anton, he has deep-sleep-whatever-the-temperature-there-be genes in his body. That guy could sleep through anything. The tempest brewed about until two in the afternoon. After that, we went down to the canteen for some food. God, dear God. Only a few of the twenty or so canteens in Raymundo was open, and food was really scarce. Ihaw Express! Ellen's! Komeshi! Munchkins! ADEL'S! Where are you now! The floor on the canteen was flooded and the winds were still up heaving through the thick glass walls. I barely managed to eat. Everything just came all too soon. Got to meet up with France, and he said that Dancel was a mess. Belmore was too. Actually, almost all of the apartments in LB were (except for the uber first-class Westbrook with matching generator pa).

After we ate, Anton and I bought some food, staple food, downstairs and decided that it was the time to give Melai a visit. It was a windy journey, and not to mention, uh, floody? We saw the aftermath. It was drastic. I think that LB was one of the hardest hit areas since the storm centered on Laguna, Quezon, and Bicol right? So anyways, we went to Mix Match and waited for Melai to come down and when she did, we went back to Belmore to prepare for our what would be dramatic trip down UPLB lane.

When we got back, we saw Aaron and Rev and decided that all of us go together and see what was left of UPLB. I could not help but get teary eyed at the sight. The trees fell, the roads were blocked, the big, sturdy more-or-less 60 year-old Acacia tree which welcomes visitors one and all to the University took its final bow. The hanging bridge was no more as it collapsed into the river. The RIVER! God, the crystal clear waters suddenly turned to mocha. The posts fell, there was flood everywhere, the fences broke. It was such a horrifying experience, but whatever happened, I still remained a proud UPian. I love this school, and I will never forsake it. :)

We picked up Joana at the Men's Dorm at decided to grab a bite to whatever restaurant was open. Bad idea. We walked for about two kilometers to no avail. Everything was closed. It seemed like a haunted town. Only Doner's was open. But the food was quite pricy. So we ended up yet again at Raymundo. Joana bid us farewell that day because she was picked up by her parents. So the rest of us had to spend another night in heat. Thankfully, the laptop still had battery and I was able to watch White Oleander. Such a beautiful story. The following morning, the rest of us remaining ate breakfast at what's-it-called-again? Haha. I forgot. Then we went back to our unit to play cards. Haha. That was the most fun I had in weeks! 1-2-3 pass!!! Aaron and I were always the ones getting pulverized. CHEATERS! Haha. After that, we sang our hearts out with the songhits Rev brought way back. We were like, so cracked. Then we ate Lanzones to our hearts' content. Little did we know what would happen in the afternoon. We got picked up at around 1pm and instead of going home directly, we had…… *drumroll* a ROADTRIP! Haha. San Pablo! We went picking for Lanzones and Rambutan at ate and ate and ate and ate and ate. Then, finally, we were homebound.

That was when I found out that classes were suspended for one week. Thankfully, I will finally have time, though it still remained to be insufficient, to do my projects. Psy1. Eng2. Fil20. On the other hand, the following weeks will be hell. Long Tests. Long Tests. Long Tests. Good thing I do not have any finals, for if I ever did have, I’d surely go crazy. :)

Now, it is back to LB once again. LB Friends! Miss you! Can't wait to see you! Whoopee!!

hate letter

2006-10-07T19:00:00.000-07:00

I love to hate ***.

Yes, for me, hating isn't such a ghastly word, especially when it comes to ***. It is at this state when I can focus and see myself in a pedestal above ***. You who I, for so long, have been trying to endure indecisiveness and incapacitation from.

Man, honestly, is your heart just bleak cold and hard? Do you have an over-bloated ego? Have you still been practicing your notoriety of ignorance or are you just plain stupid? The signs were given, yet you showed no thought about it. People are damn fed up of what you have been continually trying to show because it is not you who is affected by the stench of the hogwash, but us. It is not you who is feeling bitter over how the once sought after dream of living in a beautiful abode remained forever a dream. It is not you who is getting utterly upset about breaking the rules. Rules you seem to think of as preposterous. In case you do not know, rules are made for people to follow since they were intended for the furtherance of a society, however minute or immense it is. It is not you who gets ireful every time you exhibit lethargy towards your obligations. Obligations you never do. And most especially, it is not you, of ALL PEOPLE, who has the right to decide my future on whether I will do well on a profession or not when you are basically numb and ill-informed about the matter. To tell you the truth, I was really shocked when the allegation came. It came too late, but nevertheless, my outrage since then barely wore out. You used your helplessness as an excuse to pass your duty and then afterwards I see you lingering about, having the time of your life, as if you were vigorous all along. Helplessness, eh? You are almost at the brink of our patience, so start compensating for the gravity of your misdemeanor. Do not accuse other people of things you are more worth condemning of. The onus is not on us, it is on you. Do not try to pass everything off as play, because it is not. Remember: all work and no play makes someone a dull boy. But all play and no work makes someone not even worth calling dull. This is not backstabbing. I am just restating the given.

Of course, you know this, don't you?

think-talk-thought

2006-09-17T07:39:00.000-07:00

brace yourself. :)

ever had the feeling wherein you just wanna blurt out all your unkempt emotions to a person? you just couldn't hold it in that it hurts so much had it remained concealed?

i did.

thankfully, i had two friends who went with me through my temporary hysteria; i want to dedicate this post to them.

for being such a brother. wow, it's been almost a year since we've become best buddies. despite all the burden i've rested on you, you still persisted - with your head held high. i know i may be partly the cause of your in digence now, but please know that i am more than willing to compensate for the wrongdoings i've committed. withstanding all the accusations lashed down at us by despots, i can say we've proven our worth. our handsome faces kicked their hideous butts. and besides, some people are just too jealous of what they do not have.

who would've ever thought? one night can change everything. first impressions shouldn't last, but they should count. i have learned from you not to presuppose the character of a person not unless you have a talk, a DECENT one, with him. i now believe that honestly, indeed, is the best policy, for it is where you get to appreciate the beauty of one's soul. one's naked soul, without any cover-ups. avoiding the truth or pretending that you know what you really don't know will only make things worse. worse enough for stagnant, incapacitated depression to come at you. and, you're a record-holder.

thanks guys. :)

somewhere in time :)

2006-09-16T08:02:00.000-07:00

My mind is a mess as of the moment. I can't seem to organize my thoughts. Why? Why? Anyway, pardon me for the mumbo jumbo I am about to doodle, windang ako eh. But come to think of it, I should not ask for an apology, this is my blog after all. :)

Life is a play on emotions. One moment you're exultant, next moment you're wretched. I guess that's the beauty of it. Living monotonously is not an option, if you want to justify your reason for existence. Yep, there will be tribulations, from the utterly shallow to the drastically critical, along the way, but that doesn't necessarily put you in a dismal state. It's a beautiful disaster, for crying out loud. Lessons have to be learned. There are other people experiencing worse situations, but nevertheless bear them with the self-assurance that they can make it. Being superficial is not such a loathsome state, but becoming too excessive (is this redundant? Haha) or over-the-top and being sooo insensitive and prideful is. How can you ever endure the continuing taunts and qualms of a person who has nothing to say but about his bloating head, tit-for-tat? Or of a person who over-justified the word batugan that no matter what drama or plead you may do, you still wouldn't beget the unselfish YET simple, it's-for-the-good-of-everybody request that you appealed for? So many questions. Unanswered questions, for that matter. Why do you have to forcefully put yourself inferior to a person just because it is needed? And that psychologically handicapped person does not even acknowledge your endeavour?

I guess this turmoil is inevitable, but I beg to disagree that it is not irrepressible. Take things with a grain of salt. It's better not to indulge yourself into these things. Keep a stance, but not too far to the point that they'd call you a piss-off. I don't like to elaborate further on these lessons, they're too common sense. These are the solutions you're bound to infer should you encounter these trials. But then again, common sense is a thing not many people possess. :)

My new motto:
Don't hate God because you live with the people you abhor, thank Him because you're not like them. :)

What a year it was. What a year it will be. Thanks to all those who greeted, especially to those who did so during early morning (Audrey, Anton, Mykel, Kit, Ica, Eizel, Chris, Jezza, Kate, Anne, Maggie, Jude, Coi, Melai, Trixie among others) and late evening (Ate Che, Matt, and Ica yet again). I didn't know if you were just naturally awake by then or stayed up for that moment in time, but it was very touching. Touching indeed. I did not, in anyway, have the birthday I had in mind (some people can just be too full of themselves that even on certain occasions wherein they don't have to be the center of attention, they still boldy stick out their ego as if it was some kind of constipated hot air balloon), but it was definitely one worth remembering.

Thank You, dear Lord, for this profound sense of clarity. Though I may stagger, I know it's better to move on while cleansing my wound rather than to stay put and let my heart bleed. :)

Academic Updates:

Speech Comm - informative speech coming this week. so..... EXCITED? :)

English - 25 notecards due Tuesday. Hmph, i would've passed this sooner if....

Nat Sci - Long Test. WEEE!!! haha.

CWTS - I'm beginning to feel the enthusiasm yet again these past few meetings.

Filipino - Project: 3 Songs. God, help me.

that's all. :)

ps: why somewhere in time? it's the name of a movie and an instrumental piece... which happens to be one of the most beautiful songs i've heard. :)

the piano version is such a stunning rendition. :)

made it BABY (bey-beh) :)

2006-09-04T02:44:00.000-07:00

I can now laugh at myself for how outlandish I acted last week, which was one of the most turbulent (should I say) weeks yet. Yes, I made it through what the people here coin as a hell week. Figuratively, and literally (the classrooms are utter furnaces). Way back seven days ago, I was gearing up for what I thought I could not overcome. Too many presentations, long tests, quizzes, projects, and reports. Dear God, talk about overload.

I can’t believe I’m actually industrious enough to narrate what happened. Diligence has taken over me. :)

Monday. Can’t narrate what happened here. Sorry. Tuesday. Everyone in PE U2 was wearing RED. Favorite color. Yipee! We had a long test and prof told us that if we were to wear red, we would have additional points. So yeah, there. In the entirety of my college life, never was there a time wherein I had to compute. From the simple addition to the complex Math 17-ish things, I had never ever used my mathematical skills…. Well, up until now. It was actually my first time to compute in my long exam in PE1. And to think that it was just 220 – X. I can’t believe I’m about to write this, but I miss Math. Yeah, the cramming and everything. Just not the failing grades. I also received my check list, and met for the first time my adviser, Mr. Gupa, who seemed very nice. I can’t believe I’m taking Volleyball and Cycling next year, I didn’t apply for those courses! I just applied for Lawn Tennis, which I’m taking next semester. I’m glad to have him as my adviser, because some of my other friends are having trouble with theirs while mine is very helpful. Had to write a narrative essay about my life for him, and I think I did the term narrative justice. I repeat, I THINK I did. My day ended with my long test in Philo1. PHILOSOPHY 1. Enough said. Wednesday, MEG CAME! Her school had a field trip in UPLB so I skipped half of my CWTS class, which was originally intended for library work, for her. Melai and I met up with her at KFC. Aaron soon followed. It’s nice to see familiar faces again. Kinda nostalgic. :) I received my grade in the 1st test for Psy1, and I think I did well. Not excellently, but well. met up with Mark, Bea, and Kris at around 7pm for the rehearsals. As usual, we weren’t complete, but it was all good. Super laughtrip. SUPER. :) Thursday. This day marked a milestone for me in my college life. It was my first ever live presentation in front of so many people. I don’t really know if we delivered the performance with the approval of the audience (though I think they were entertained), but I think we rocked. To think that it was actually our first time to perform with complete members. :) I also had another test in NatSci 4. Why is it that we always seem to have a test every meeting? Anyways, it’s alright with me. I like the subject anyhow. Antipodal cells. Synergid. Polar nuclei. Rainbow? Haha. We also had a reporting in PE1 which went well. The greatest disappointment I had that day was that my teacher in Eng2 was absent. Grrr. I stayed up late until 2AM just to finish the working bibliography then I find out that we had no teacher. Enough said. This was also the day when we submitted Fil20 B’s literary folio entitled Makiling sa Basement “lay-outed” by yours truly. Haven’t gotten over the BULIK Literary Folio yet. Do you have a copy? Get one! Bulik office. :) and finally, Friday. Nothing much happened. We had no class in Fil20. Block Meeting. We played Catch the Dragon’s Tail… more like Push-The-Other-Team-To-The-Mudpit. So many of us had the tragic misfortune of getting their clothes “muddified.” Thank heavens I wasn’t one of them. The Block Moments and Block Logbook are already done. I have a feeling that we’re gonna win in those contests. Not first maybe, but we’ll have a place.

Till then. Ciao. :)

- just plugging, Jewel’s new album absolutely rocks!!!!!

finally, decency. :)

2006-08-18T20:51:00.000-07:00

After what feels like an eternity of not blogging, here I am again to pursue this art of can’t-find-right-word.

I really don’t know where to start off since I honestly am not familiar anymore with which controls of the site would I use and what mindset should I have in order to produce such a comprehensible work (if it, by your standards, is). I don’t like to start anymore on what happened for the past seven months because even if I make a long and decent post about my whereabouts, it will never match up to those updates of my classmates from highschool. Haha. If I re-enumerate them, I guess I’ll just be saying the palpable details, which I think is not by any standards intriguing or worth reading. And besides, I’m not a good storyteller. Never was, never am, but will someday be. Haha. Yuck.

College life. Yep, a freshman at UPLB taking up Communication Arts who plans to major in writing, rather than speech communication or theatre arts. Why writing? It’s something personal. I have tons of books to read about writing, and believe me, these are information I have never heard of before. Maybe because they weren’t taught to me back then, or I just wasn’t listening. :) Thank heavens I do not have any subject regarding math (Math 1, 2, 11, 14, 17). Even without any, I could already feel the painstaking agony my friends are experiencing whenever they tell me about what happened to their tests or their RE-tests. Very convulsive. Anyways, what I lacked in math, I made up in my Nat Sci 4. Yes, science. I still have other units but I’m too lazy to think about what they are now. Anyways, I would like to go under a big shift in my being, provided that I have the academic prerequisites. Haha. Yuck. I would like to shift from BACA to BS Bio. The reason why? It is again something personal. Anyways, enough of the personal gibberish. Interestingly, my favorite subject is non-academic, it’s CWTS 1. I love this subject even though its schedule is smacked in the middle of the middle of the week. ( Held at noon, every Wednesday.) Why do I take such pride in CWTS? It teaches service. As simple as that. I get to experience reality as it is. To add to that, I have very interesting classmates. Each of us has different stories, but we blend in quite impressively. I don’t want to be schmaltzy so I won’t enumerate further. Too private. Or am I just too selfish? Haha. Either way, it’s clandestine.

Los Banos = Reality. Yes, both the good and bad. It’s not really the far-flung area which everybody presumes it to be. It’s modernized, and more importantly civilized, if you’d only look at it closer.

Addies:
* Oh my gosh, I so love icebag 6. Lb at its best! I loved the concept. Mga hayop ng pag-ibig. Haha. and also because…. :)

* Holy crap, I’m so excited (haha, EXCITED?!) for the results of my long test in Nat Sci and the concept paper in Eng 2 about Plagiarism. Bwahaha. Sana… :)

* Need to go to National Bookstore (preferably in ATC). I have to buy what my teachers hailed as the writer’s bible, The Elements of Style. But… :(

* BLEACH + NARUTO (can’t wait for episode 197) + ? = pro tem contentment. :)

* Disregard the :)’s and :(‘s. Wala pala un. Haha.

haha. yuck.

2006-08-14T05:18:00.000-07:00

kakatamad. haha.

just made my first layout in like what, 7 months? haha yuck.

update this thing later. otherwise, i'd only say very tautological details.

haha. YUCK.

sparks!!!! 05-06

2006-01-01T08:52:00.000-08:00

sparks. happy new year!!!

yan ang mga paputok namin ngayong new year. haha. ansaya saya talaga ng new year dito sa tanauan. hay... tapos may kapitbahay kami na mga 9 pa lang, nag stastart nang mag fireworks display. lol. mayaman!

astig \m/ andami dami pang food dito dahil sa tita ko... hay, i guess i started the year right. and i hope to keep up my high spirits till dec 31, 2006. hay... nakakapanibago no? 2006 na... and eventually, college looms near!!! whoppie!!! can't wait! new experiences, new sights. the frivolity and the gravity of it is something i want to experience. haha. i hope to fulfill all my dreams when i go to college. i'm so excited. :)

why do i have to change for you?
i change for myself, not for you....
i only let you trigger myself to change me.

i don't know what title i should place

2005-12-25T20:14:00.000-08:00

happy anniversary to my blog

my past layouts. hay. lol. ANONG PINAKAGUSTO NIYO? :)
--------------------------------------------------------
Nothing Beats Family

no matter what happens, one could never escape his family, this blood-related beings whom he has special ties with. the spirit of family could never ever be deprived from one. the cliche, friends might go, but family stays, is partly true, as there have been many examples of ever lasting friendships. family provides us with perennial support no one else could ever do. our family is there to see is express, not impress. our family will always be there.
i love my family. thanks for a wonderful christmas and a fantastic fiesta. i will never ever forget these memories. i hope we share many many more experiences with each other. i can't wait. :)

advance happy new year everyone!

ransom thank-you note

2005-12-22T16:45:00.000-08:00

camyl... thank you. :) i'll forever cherish these.

hahaha, joke lang. not unless gusto mo siyang gawing REALITY.

wait, PAHABOL:

ano yan? levitating pillow? haha. whose head is that on?

"...whenever there's a Lilo, there's always a Stitch..."

dutdot

2005-12-22T03:23:00.000-08:00

ako'y tinatamad mag type kaya puro pix na lang ang ilalagay ko...

(piano keys, computer keys)

i was supposed to go to kumon... pero nakatulog ako at pagkagising ko ay 1 pm na... so no use. so i spent the day dutdot-ing with the keys... hay... i re-studied my old pieces at so far naman ay nakukuha ko na ulit sila...

i got frustrated with gunbound... because i attempted to download it 3 freakin times... nung una, 50% then nawalan ng ilaw... the second time, 60% then nag-hang, and the third and most frustratin time, 99% na siya then nag hang. hay... ewan ko ba. i'll try to download it some other time na lang.

nag luto rin ako ngayon. hahaha. i don't know why... i cooked sinangag.

meet (from left): vince, isaac, and gavin

yeah, i still have stuff toys. but i didn't buy them... they were bought for me. (well, maybe except for isaac whose former master, camyl, had to forcefully give it to me) . pat gave me vince, camyl forcefully gave me isaac, and gavin was given by coi. :) i sleep with these guys. they know me... they know me better than you. :) haha.

"antigas kasi ng ulo mo...

nakakairita ka...

ayaw mo akong paniwalaan"

miss

2005-12-21T03:42:00.000-08:00

8.
vt desire somebody’s presence: to feel sorry that somebody or something is absent
missed her a lot while she was away
9.
vt discover absence of: to realize that somebody or something is not there, at a time when or in a place where somebody would expect him, her, or it to be present
He was halfway home before he missed his wallet.

is this really true? do i really really really miss you?

yeah. it's true. i wish you were here.

:) so that we could both be happy.

mata

2005-12-20T03:22:00.000-08:00

hhhmmm... sino kaya tong mga to? make a wild guess... it's very easy.

kumusta na...
nandyan ka pa ba...

...nakita ko ng lahat ito

...pinahihiwatig ng mata mo

.:. mata.mojofly .:.

HINT: use difference clouds technique in adobe photoshop...

and to LINA: sino ka? i don't know you. duh.

hell's heaven

2005-12-19T01:52:00.000-08:00

finally... we had our christmas party... it rocked. i so swear... why? because we won the amazing race! everything was just ubberly perfect... haha. super... this is the most memorable christmas party of my high school life!

btw, i changed my layout.. it's on version number 13 now. it came from ashlee simpson's song 'beautifully broken'.

anton slept over here before the day of our christmas party... para makapag-gift wrap kami.. which really didn't work out too well because we i ended up rushing the gift wrapping because of the damn time limit. we arrived late... gma 9 am ata... and the funny thing was... since the party was a jammy party, anton and i changed into our outfits at the oddest of place.. the JEEP. hahaha... super funny...

then i slept at anton for the next two days... nga pala, anniversary namin ni cocoi! yehey! weee!!! december 16!!! i'll post the pictures later. ayt? haha...

then here i am.... writing this nonsense post yet again... hay, fuck. i'm going to update this blog more often...

i'm not ok. i'm not ok. i'm ok.

damn.

wait, eto na pala ung mga pics.. ung iba lang.

that's the four of us... haha. andumi ng socks namin! kasi ba naman hindi namin alam na if ever na nailagay na namin ung socks sa long line na un... we could never get them back na pala! so we ended up running around the whole school with only socks! haha... beat that! we looked like fools but we didn't care!

that's my class... but anton and i aren't there because we weren't there yet... (late po kami!)

the pink team!! with matching dirty socks!!! yeah baby yeah!!!

2nd place / and other stuff....

2005-11-26T01:26:00.000-08:00

2nd place.

the place i got from the essay writing contest.

ok, so that's that. but i have a whole lot more to say.

to all freakin' detractors our world:

we have had enough of your stupendous bickering and criticizing of what we have. i must admit, we are not those gods and godesses you may want us to be. we prefer not to be. we chose this way, and we will die defending what we believe in. we are open to changes, yes. but you didn't change us, you generally insulted us because you made us look and act like complete f*cking idiots. we are not idiots, because if we indeed were, we wouldn't have been included in the A section of the freaking batch in our class. we know what we undertook, and yes, we know our responsibilities. in short, we know better than to just let what we could've had go away like some crap. i personally hated the time when you pointed out THAT thing, because i really worked hard for it, we all did. you could've just sugarcoated that thing, lest it really was a very excruciating sight. but you know what? i would've accepted those taunts of yours if what you really have is WAY better than ours. come to think of it, you're nothing like us. because all you do is ...... THAT thing. it really bothers us on why you like to do those things. have you even seen your work? your supposed-to-be "SPLENDID" work?

DUH.

as in, DUH. you guys are such piss-offs.

because in the end, we would still be not be in centerstage, lest you change your selfish ways and start living by your own induced values. do you even know the things you're saying? you always force us to do this and that. and it really sucks, because you force us. and we HATE/ABHOR/ DON'T LIKE being forced. as in. we would've done everything so much faster had you provided us with ample and updated EQUIPMENT. and about the thing wherein we run away from our problems, we FACE them, you lunatic. don't go telling us that what we do today is a complete turning away from the moral values your 'group' put up. we just have had enough of pontius pilates in our lives. i just can't wait to shovel our fruit of hard work into your worn-out, severly-in-need-of-personality-classes faces.

and other stuff...

so that's that with those detractors... these past weeks talaga is really one of the most hectic yet memorable weeks of my high school years, and i swear i wouldn't forget these things.

it all started with the pull-outs we get for us to finish the damn lay-out in bulik... and i have to say, bulik looked way much better than before... from the change of logo to the news to the editorial to the literary to sports to features... everything looked way cooler. and not only that, we were able to produce a filipino issue which is of the same calibur *i think*. i would never forget the moments i shared with these six people...

mina... our eic. haha, grabe, she's so into this newspaper... and she really wants to bring out all the best in each and everyone of us. pauleen... our layout artist. she's the pinakamakulit sa amin... haha, and of course ,the fattest... she's always into food galore. kaycee.... our assoc editor. pinakatahimik sa amin... iniwan niya kami nung pumupunta ung taga-****** sa amin at nagbibigay ng 'comments' sa paper... grabe. andun lang siya sa isang lugar. arik... our ever-so-dependable sports ed. arik, well siya ung kasama ko sa pag papagawa ng photojourn. DAPO!!! as in the best!!!! super!!!! haha, i remember french classes. anton... sports staff. wala lang, ewan ko ba talaga dito... pero eto ung laging-nalabas-labas para kumuha ng mga stuff. melai... layout artist. she's the most diligent one in the group... she never gets out of the computer kasi she really wants to finish the paper. haha. lol.

so un na un... i will forever cherish the memories we all had. this just points out that life is indeed GOOD... and were are the ones who make it look like it's not good... we shouldn't be detracted by PEOPLE OF DEFINITELY MUCH LOWER CALIBUR THAN OUR'S. haha.. take that bitch.

and i hafta say... i admire carmina. i swear. i SO SWEAR.

december 01... PRESSCON!!!

the day started out well... with our admins asking us to wear the piso on our right foot.. i swear this is so effective... weeee... i enjoyed playing with it because it tickles my foot talaga... i was just quite disappointed when i learned that there was no radio broadcasting in the line up contest. grabe. haha... but anyway, i still enjoyed the day.

my room for the features writing english was #25. at first, i really, honestly, COULDN'T fit myself in the chair because it was so tiny. haha. and my nerves were to the highest level because all intuitions i have were telling me that the topic for features was big brother, which i DON'T watch.

thank God that i was wrong... so wrong... we were asked to write a rhyming poem. it turned out that my intuition wasn't intuition after all... it was just my nerves.

i enjoyed the rest of the day... i swear i did. i was my first and yet to be the most memorable presscon. during the afternoon... ms noemi and i discussed some issues about the paper... buti na lang talaga everything went our way.

when we arrived at school... tinapos namin ung paper... and it was really fun... we ended up leaving the school at 9pm. buti na lang sleep-over ako kina anton... haha.

nga pala, nilibre niya ako ng food. hahaha.

so... december 2 arrived... we were supposed to be at the school by 5.30, i arrived at six... pero may maslate sa akin... sobra....

LYF FESTIVAL... ang saya saya rin... kahit na victoria and i made total fools of ourselves... we still enjoyed the day... pero there was this one person who really pissed me off. she's a LEECH. sipsip siya sa mga may 'kaya', sa mga taong matataas ang position sa buhay. buisit siya. she's a bitch.

anyway, i just hope she'd go to hell... promise.

but still... i was able to enjoy the day... especially when we were with mimah... as in i'd laugh my ass to death!!! her silly yet prim antics brighten up my day. we went home and during our 'trip'.... arianne, raemart, victoria and i had the most jukebox-ing experience of our lives... because we were literally singing the whole trip. lalo na kami ni arianne... super. haha.

so that's that... i love december 1 & 2... except for that person. she really sucks.

haha.

that's all for now, i still have a gazillion things in my mind but, hey, if i say it all, you'd probably be powdered to death of the pain we let out.

hung up

2005-11-17T02:16:00.000-08:00

why hung up? i'm listening to madonna's new single... i dunno why.

i liked the line 'time goes by so slowly for those who wait.' haha.

so many many many things to do....

but still with ample time to be freakin' happy...

we REACHED QUOTA!!! yipee!!! we get to have a 2 day holiday!!! yeah baby!!! but i'm betting na ung 2 day holiday is gonna be used up for.... PROJECTS. hay. :(

but still... i'm happy.

these past few days, i have been very sad... because i lost my filipino notebook... and that is like, the NOTEBOOK of all NOTEBOOKS. why? because if i lose it, i might not be able to take another quiz in filipino for the whole quarter!!! meaning zero ang scores ko...

but never lose hope...

i spoke with ma'am del... and guess what?!?! she gave me a second chance!!! yehey!!!! i'm really really really really HAPPY.

we received our grad pics... and i gotta say, i looked damn alright. :) ask my classmates... LOL.

hung up.

hay.

happy.

:)

fly away

2005-11-13T23:35:00.000-08:00

hay, grabe, minsan lang talaga you just wanna fly away from reality.

uber kadoober hard things to do:

*CL- i made the docu already but i still haven't made the freakin' powerpoint presentation. damnit... and our reports due tomorrow. i don't even know if i'm gonna be there for the reporting proper kasi pulled-out kami.

*Filipino- next week is our reporting on chapter nine of the noli me tangere... hay,and i still haven't dont the powerpoint... God help me. too many reportings!!! and guess what, i -again- MAY not be there at the date of reporting for i will be pulled-out yet again for the press conference. DAMN.

*English- i still have to read over and over and over (did i type over?) again Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream because it is our chosen piece for the literary criticism. and i still have to make up the central theme for our work, and the research problems... i never thought that the day would actually come when i have to find my OWN problems... problems should be avoided right?!?! duh.

*Physics, Social Studies- i still have missed seatworks here.. and i'm about to have ANOTHER INEVITABLE missed quiz because i will be pulled-out (UGH, when will this end?!?!) on wednesday for the TNT.

*Kumon- i have to do this... haha. i want to finish this course.

help me fly away.

.:. hippo .:.

2005-11-06T23:37:00.000-08:00

i'm gonna write a long post to make up for my absence...

i hope.

these past weeks have been anything but ordinary.... f*ck.

haha. haha. haha.

i went on hiatus kasi andami daming ginagawa sa school....

intrams... hay, those were the days.... we just got 4th place... and the week hella rained. but un... last intrams na namin... pero parang walang nangyari... i can't feel it.

milo....

my first tournament... don't ask. basta i had fun with joan and hanna. hahaha.

card giving....

division meet....

october.... the WHOLE MONTH OF OCTOBER.

siya....

ung isa pang siya....

at siya....

SILA. p*ta.

computer webpage making.... such a big duffus. visit it here.

there were good times... there were bad... but hey, that's life right? you learn. that's the important thing... haha.i was able to experience many many many things that i haven't thought i'd experience... or least for the time being. but hey.... that's life... it's full of surprises...

it freaks me to the bone.

i gained, i lost... hay... i really don't know.... i hate them. i love them.

kakaasar ka.... sobra. i just hope and i pray that someday, i will eventually understand. please..... but it can't always be me who understands.... IT CAN'T ALWAYS BE ME.

i'm like a voodoo.... always being MANIPULATED.... just a THING... nothing more... NOTHING LESS.

empty space. that's me. vacant. dull. alive, but without a life...

i need to get a life. i know i will.

wait, before i end this... why HIPPO?

well....

migy: hippo
pauleen: balyena
anton: king kong
jezza: dolphin
chamie: dumbo
madaine: armpit
audrey: takuri

that's it.... parade of characters.

:)

finally

2005-11-01T21:35:00.001-08:00

finally.... hahaha. after 2 months of absence... i'm finally back!!!

stronger.

wiser.

and of course, hotter.

haha.

sa uulitin

2005-08-23T08:11:00.000-07:00

these past days are just the best.

friday

so bale nagpractice kami ng mass dance... actually late ako... buti na lang i saw jiaan. haha. so un na, then we practiced till 3 pm... pero before that, i apologized to cocoi... for... haha. you know na.

then after that, pat and i went to his house... i took a bath there, i didn't know why. haha. then after that... the real fun began. ang super trip namin from lipa to folk arts.

haha.

what we looked like before. haha.

so aun, nakatulog ata ako... basta, habang nasa calabarzon... joke time kami. lol. hehe. then nung nasa expressway na... joke time ulit... then i saw ung watch na cute na pagmamay-ari ng sis ni camyl... *sayang alang pic... asa cell kasi ni pat na wala naman palang usb port. hehe j/k* so aun na... then nag-traffic....

DAMN.

pumunta kami sa ATC. we were supposed to look for tickets there pero ala nang available sa tower... haha. so kumain na lang kami sa chowking... *bakit nga ba chowking na lang ang kinakainan natin camyl pag manunuod tayo ng gig? LOL.* kakatuwa.

then after that... we went to ano na... to folk arts. hehe...
tapos napakinggan namin na ang ROCKESTRA pala a may live feed from 97.1... so parang un na nga... nakinig na kami.. para 'feeling' kaming andun. btw, ang ASTIG talaga ng akap. promise... hehe. bale, ung costumes ng mga rakista eh pormal, pero ung costumes ng mga nasa orchestra eh mga pang-rakista. ASTIG.

nung nakarating kami sa folk arts, at bawal ang camera... so like i said, ang only source lang talaga eh ang camera ni pat. hehe. andun si wj pero di kami sumabay dun. lol. sugarfree na... at super astig ng prom, tulog na... then SANDWICH... GRABE... hehe. HUMANDA KA the best!!! then after that eh nagkaroon sila ng grand finale... na ang song naman eh... 'huwag kang mahihiya kung ang ilong mo ay pango...' ASTIG TALAGA MAGING PINOI! haha.

then picturan... eto kami o:

Our damn shoes.

Dila.

Funchum anyone? haha.

could anyone explain bakit kami nagkaganito? LOL.

then un... umuwi na kami... hindi pa pala. lol. pumunta muna kami sa treats!!!! at nag midnight snack... gumawa kami ng commercial... LOL. ansaya kasi pwede kang magwala dun kasi konti lang tao.

eto ulit kami o:

si mcdo. guwafu. lol.

mr treats. bakit ang sikat-sikat mo ngayon?

may kulangot ba si mr treats? haha

ito talaga ung the best na pic. dito ko kinuha ung pic for my new layout eh. lol.

haha. then after nun, umuwi na talaga kami... dito natulog si pat. hehe. ansaya.

SA UULITIN.

Thank You

2005-08-10T22:35:00.000-07:00

haha. i'm so happy. i have a lot of things be thankful for.

let's start.... haha. i warn you, this may be quite long.

sunday

Thank You UPCAT-

haha. the test was difficult, but the experience was worth it. i took my upcat at uplb. mag-isa lang ako kasi ung iba kong friends na kukuha ay same day pero morning... ako, afternoon. haha. i can see myself in up... i just hope up can see itself with me. after taking the grueling 5 hour exam, i walked alone around the up campus... and it was windy pa naman, eh i get very sentimental whenever it's windy. haha. la lang, it's a very rewarding experience. then after that, i ate at my favorite store in los banos... DONER DURUM!!!! haha. damn, i love the CHICKEN thingy there... >if that's what it's called... *i forgot na eh*< ...it's very spicy... and very cheesy. haha. basta un... and the ride, as usual, was terrific... we passed by macban... or makban. >i don't know the spelling eh!< .... it was raining pa naman... haha. and it was windy ren.... damn, i am so wierd.

Thank You Chamie-

my great day didn't stop there, kasi after upcat, chamie texted na andun na siya sa may house namin... *gagawa kasi kami ng ever-so-beautiful project namin sa english* ... sabi ko i'll just buy food... then pagdating namin dun... diretso kami sa room ko... tapos nagkwentuhan... blah blah... and the funny thing was, ung binili kong food *fish na 'iniskabeche'* na super sarap ay hindi na rin namin nakain!!! sabi kasi ni chamie... 'gawa na tau ng project...' eh siya naman tong hindi nagawa... nakakatawa. nagtiis na lang kami sa cadbury. sana kumain na lang tayo nun... kasi... DUH, wala naman kaming nagawa. haha... so sabi nia 10.30pm raw siya magpapasundo... well, ung 10.30 na un ay nauwi sa 1.30AM. haha. i can't believe it... ang galing ko mag-reverse psycho sa kanya.nakakatawa... i mean, habang 'sinusubukan' naming gumawa ng mga letters eh patugtog kami ng patugtog ng kung anu-anong cd... tapos napagtripan ung chasing liberty... at guess what, pareho pa kami ng favorite scene!!! at hinanap ko ung cd ng may 'if i'm not in love with you' at wala na kaming ginawa noon kundi kumanta at magkwentuhan... kakatuwa, college life ang pinag-usapan... love life... *yuck!* tapos un... anlah, nakakadrama, kaia huwag na lang... at dahil dun ay lalo ng na-delay ang aming english... haha. eh submission na un that day.

monday

Thank You Camyl

i wasn't quite happy this day... because of something... something nga ba, or someone? anyway... i was so depressed... then un, kinausap ako ni camyl... after that, everything went quite well na. kasi before that... ansama ng loob ko kasi ung mga grades ko eh parang ewan... nung una, everything was quite well... *CSAT* ... tapos sa paglaon ng panahon... nawala na ang gana ko... *accounting*... basta, thanks camyl. you really helped me a lot.

Thank You Ma'am Angie

hay... kayo po ang pinakamabait kong teacher!!! binigyan niyo kami ni chamie ng extension!!! haha... pinagbutihan na namin ni chamie ung english namin.. gumawa kami ng recess, math time, lunch, at hapon. o diba?!

tuesday

Thank You Cocoi

haha. lam mo na kung bakit.

wednesday

Thank You Math at Filipino

haha. ang exam ko sa 2 subject na ito... napakasarap sagutan!!! kasi... ala lang, nag-aral talaga ako dito. pero ung isang subject... hay, grabe. automatic na 15 mistakes na agad ako kasi napag-baliktad ko ang 'human acts' at ang 'acts of man'... DUH. buti na lang may CARE dun... kung hindi, damn, andami kong mali. as in sobrang dami.

Thank You Jula

actually, hindi thank you dapat eh... kaso nga lang kung hindi 'thank you' ang ilalagay ko, eh pano ko masisiksik ang story na toh?! hehe. JOKE. ala lang, pumunta ako sa kanila para mag 'group study' sa accounting... pero sa totoo lang, EFFECTIVE. then kala ko eh super dali ko lang dun... kasi nga accounting lang... pero biglang dumating si 'mr. dengue', at nag-spray sa buong bahay... so mga 30 minutes kaming nasa labas at nagkwekwentuhan ng kung anu-ano. haha... tapos as in parang 'feng shui' ung house nila... kasi nausok sa loob. kala mo nasusunog... haha. then after that, eh nag-aral na talaga ako... pero parang hindi rin kasi nga ang ingay namin ni jula. mga 7pm na ako nakauwi. haha...

thursday

Thank You ACCOUNTING

haha... NABALANCE KO!!! un lang ang masasabi ko.... NABALANCE KO!!! haha.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

so un ang thank you ko... at siyempre... THANK YOU, kasi binasa mo to...

haha... wait, may favorite song akong bago... ito...

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends
like my fathers come to pass
seven years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends
here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are
as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends
summer has come and passed
the innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends
ring out the bells again
like we did when spring began
wake me up when september ends
here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are
as my memory rests
but never forgets what I lost
wake me up when september ends
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
wake me up when september ends
like my fathers come to pass
seven years has gone so fast
wake me up when september ends

haha. parang ansarap kantahin niyan pag graduation. haha.

i just had to post this. haha. that's me, pauleen, cocoi, and pat.

we had nothing to do during the mass dance practice.

dahil mahal kita

2005-07-30T01:53:00.000-07:00

**at long last.... kung hindi lang kayo malakas sakin lola pauleen at patt... hehe**

so, eto na ako... after more than 2 weeks of walang blogging.. update update!!!

so ano nga ba nangyari... kakatuwa na ang klase... super. nakaka-enjoy na ang jb44. pero nakakainis na rin kasi 8 months na lang. napakaraming nangyari....

a. prayer service namin... - grabe ang akap!!! nakakatuwa ang mga stars na ipinamigay namin... haha... lolx.

b. pe times- kami ni camyl, matt, izel, angel, at ang newest member... si ANTON! pero mostly si camyl... salamat sa inyo guys ha! ansaya mag-volleyball!!! pero nakakainis kasi wala raw ako sa master list eh andun naman talaga ako! salamat camyl dun sa isang 'friday'... grabe ang tulong mo sakin nun... kahit 5 minutes lang tayo nag-football at nasira ang chucks ko!!!

c. seat plan- ako, si chamie, si avis, si paris, si jude, at si arik. wow. hehe.... kakatuwa... laging kulelat si chamie sa mga quizzes... *anyabang kasi*... pero nakakatuwa tlaga.... answit nila ni avis... tapos naging ka-close ko si paris and jude... haha... pati si arik... *ang bulik incident* .... hehe... ansarap asarin ni chamie... kaso nga lang lagi nang nanuntok. hehe... pero ansaya ng seat plan na ito!!! one week na lang tayo guys!!! chamie lagot ka!!! haha.

d. ang lola ko model na!!!- ang ganda ng lola ko!!! have you bought meg's latest issue!? my grandma pauleen is there!!! dun sa megface ek-ek... ang ganda niya!!! ang galing talaga ng computer... hehe j/k... pero maganda talaga ang lola ko dun!!! vote for her!!!

e. KIDS- tapos na ung review... ako, si vernix, si trixie, si mina, si matt, at si meg. salamat sa mga memories!!! ang pizza hut, ang bayad sa tricycle... and everything!!!

f. teacher tintin- hay... buti na lang nag-kumon ako ngayon... last day na niya... hay, promise ko sa kanya tatapusin ko ang kumon. haha... sana lang.

g. track- grabe. no comment. ahaha. natuto akong bigyang halaga ang buhay ko.

h. accounting- grabe sir loreto!!! napakabait niyo!!! hindi niyo ako zinero!!! hahaha... ang laki ng utang na loob ko sa inyo!!! hindi na talaga ako magloloko sa subject niyo!!! credit and debit forever!!!

salamat sa lahat... basta... kahit may nawala sayo... may natututunan ka naman. hehe...

ge, nuod pa ko herbie. haha..

akap

2005-07-12T05:01:00.000-07:00

weeeee........ new layout... jb 44... picture perfect.... lol.

------------------------------------------------------------

Nagtatanong
Bakit mahirap sumabay sa agos
Ng iyong mundo

*hay*... napakasarap mabuhay kung alam mong minamahal ka at nagmamahal ka... i wanna thank all of jb44 who shared their tears with me during the retreat... it was truly an amazing experience and i had the benefit of sharing it with the class i hold so dear in my heart. it's really hard to say that someday we will look back at these 'mundane things' and go teary-eyed... because we'd remember na... isang parte ng buhay natin... nagkasama-sama tayo. mahal na mahal ko kayong lahat...

Nagtataka
Simple lang naman sana ang buhay
Kung ika'y matino

one of the things i've learned was that... what is meant to be... is what is meant to be... masakit... masarap... lahat iyan ay emosyon... lahat niyan nararamdaman natin... mahirap magpakatino lalo na kung alam mong nagmamahal ka... masarap talaga magmahal... sometimes... some can't accept some facts... pero what's important is alam mo kung saan ka lalagay... at aayos na ang lahat... minsan lang tayo mabuhay. magpakasaya tayong lahat... muli, mahal na mahal ko kayo...

Sabihin sakin lahat ng lihim mo
Iingatan ko
Ibaling sakin ang problema mo
Kakayanin ko

para to sa babae na mahal na mahal ko ng sobra... si Cocoi... hindi mo lang alam ang tulong na ibinigay mo sakin... mahal na mahal kita... *anu ba yan... kanina pa talaga ako* salamat sa pagtitiwala sa akin... salamat sa pagbigay sakin ng buhay mo. salamat sa pagtanggap sakin... i love you so much... i couldn't imagine a migy... without a 'cocoi'... haha. you made me realize how lucky i am... how i should just ignore all the negativity in my life and look at all good things. you are the most beautiful human being i have met......... yet. haha... joke!

lol... slippers niya

Pikit mata
Kong iaalay ang buwan at araw
Pati pa sapatos kong suot

ihinahandog ko ito sa lahat ng mga kaibigan ko... lam niyo na kung sino kayo.. *damn, tagalog na tagalog ako... lol* huwag kayong magdalawang-isip na humingi ng tulong sakin… kasi tutulungan ko kayo… mahal na mahal ko kayo… salamat sa pagpatatag ng kalooban ko… salamat.

Nagtataka
Simple lang naman sana ang buhay
Kung ika'y matino

Para ito sa sarili ko… magbago ka na para sa ikabubti ng lahat… kaya mo iyan… matuto ka nang pumili… huwag kang magpakamang-mang sa paligid mo… minamahal ka… tandaan mo iyan.

Sabihin sakin lahat ng lihim mo
Iingatan ko
Ibaling sakin ang problema mo
Kakayanin ko

Ok… nasabi ko na to… lolx. *next line please*

Sasamahan ka sa tamis
Sasamahan ka sa pait
Sasamahan ka sa dilim
Sasamahan ka hanggang langit

Para ito sayo… bakit? Kasi mahal na mahal kita.

-----------------------------------------------------------

ok… so nag-drama na naman ako…

anyway… LOL.

Tapos na ang season ng CHARMED!!! Nakakamiss… hahaha…

Nanuod kami ng concert ni bamboo… wala lang… ang astig talaga… hehe…

Napakasarap tumakbo… *promise* haha... as in pampawala ng problema… kaya kung makikita mo akong bumibilis… ibig sabihin nun eh… lalalalala.

Hehe… ansarap mabuhay!!!

Happy birthday camyl!!! Mahal na mahal kita…

tangled up

2005-07-02T05:17:00.000-07:00

hay, i've been very VERY busy these past few days that i haven't been able to post.

anyway, retreat na namin sa monday! letter ko!!! or else...

haha... so, yea know, we changed seats na... and it was very sad... because i ain't close to polin and mavic anymore... but in exchange for that, katabi ko naman si shemy!!! hahaha... tanda ko ung pic nia... nagalit nga ata eh.

speaking of galit, sorry na trixie!!! i didn't mean it naman eh!!! waaaaaaaa.....

i'm getting the hang of physics... and trigo... and english... i don't get filipino talaga. damnit... it frustrates me kasi kung ano pa ung sariling akin, un pa ung di ko magets...

i have chucks na rin!!! hahaha... i'm so happy... red!!! pareho kami ni lola polin...

basta i'm super excited na sa retreat kasi wala lang... haha... nagawa na nga ako ng sulat eh...
tapos ang hirap gumawa ng letter kasi may mga review pa kami... *ako, mina, matt, trixie, vernix, meg* hahaha.... basta!!!

and the saddest news of the week is: NAWAWALA ANG TRACK SHOES KO!!!

i'm the most reckless person in the world.. kasi ba naman.. naiwan ko nung wednesday... buti na lang nakita ni meg... so binalik niya nung thursday... tapos naiwan ko ULIT!!! hahahaha... ang ewan ko talaga!!! ang ewan ewan ewan.

anyway... si polin... wala lang... may pinakita ciang pic... nalimutan ko url. ano nga ulit un lola?!

tapos kawawa si chamie samin.. wala lang.

hahaha... i'm so happy... i just feel so blessed... so DAMN BLESSED.

i love yea'll!!!

hahaha...

eto pa lang ang mga nasusulatan ko....

WALA. LOL.

eto ang hindi pa....

ang kabuuan ng jb44... *ayoko nang i-enumerate... kakatamad*

basta letter ko ha!!!

napass ko na rin ung up forms ko... hahaha. damn, i'm so happy... then nung friday nga pala eh nagtraining ako... haha. javellin. that bitch. i was in a bad mood pa naman nun dahil ke ano. haha. basta so many things are going on my mind now... i hope i don't blow up.

life's a bitch.

sessions

2005-06-19T21:57:00.000-07:00

LOL. for the first time naiba ang title.

nu layout... session road... i really like this band. from the start pa *kahit alang nakikinig sa kanila* eh fan na nila ako noh. hehe...

anyways, update update... *sabi kasi ni lola polin magupdate raw eh.*

ok... monday... june 13

alang pasok. yehey.

tuesday... june 14

first day of school... nothing much happened... andun ako sa back ng class... with coi and mykel.
tapos the teachers introduced themselves... and i think the best teacher that i have is ma'am dana. haha... i like her so much... and i have a hunch that i'm gonna like physics *i hope*

wednesday... june 15

we changed seats... aun lang. haha... katabi ko si polin and mykel. we did nothing but poke fun at each other and joke around... ung mga slightly 'corny' jokes namin. haha... *except for mykel, kasi corny talaga ung kanya*

q: sinong classmate natin ang member ng eat bulaga?
a: eh di si jiaan VICtor dominguez.

DOH. isn't that corny or what?! haha.

thursday... june 16

uiieee... 30 months... haha... and school's starting to get really boring.

friday... june 17

we had our first assembly... and, uuuhhh.... aun, pinakita nila ung mga projects blah blah. the only thing that i could remember was the 'pesos' of jemimah... and the f*ckin fact that i have to get a haircut. DAMN. i don't understand that sh*t.

haircut inspections SUCK. BIG TIME.

and this is the first time this year that i had to commute because of camyl, and the voodoo dolls.

saturday... june 18

ok... i didn't attend kumon because i still haven't done my 8 worksheets yet. haha... *doh, we had so many assignments... first week pa lang*

sunday... june 19

father's day... ate at red ribbon... and i did something for the first time... COVER MY NOTEBOOKS. haha... first time un ha!!!!

monday... june 20

wala lang... OL. yada yada. i finished covering my notebooks. and here i am... typing. i was so bored that i decided to make a new layout. session road... i like them nga eh.

damn. haha...

thirtyeighth post

2005-06-10T03:10:00.000-07:00

wow. june 14 pa ang opening of classes.

isn't that just the sweetest?! awww.

haha... sorry na lang for those who wanted it to be june 13. pero... i had my way!!! haha.

weee....

thrityseventh post

2005-06-07T20:32:00.000-07:00

once upon a time
by gabriel okara (nigerian)

once upon a time son,they used to laugh with their hearts
and laugh with their eyes;
but now they only laugh with their teeth,
while their ice-block cold eyes
search behind my shadow.

there was a time indeed
they used to shake hands with their hearts;
but that's gone son.
now they shake hands without hearts
while their left hands search
my empty pockets

'feel at home,' 'come again.'
they say, and when i come
again and feelat home, once, twice,
there will be no thrice-
for then i find doors shut on me.

so i have learned many things son.
like a fixed portrait smilelike dresses- homeface,
officeface, streetface, hostface, cocktailface
with all their conforming smiles
like a fixed portrait smile.

and i have learned too
to laugh with only my teeth
and shake hands without my heart.
i have also learned to say 'Good-bye'
when i mean 'Good riddance;
'to say 'Glad to meet you'
without being glad, and to say 'it's been
nice talking to you,' after being bored.

but believe me son
i want to be what i used to be
when i was like you, i want to unlearn all these muting things
most of all, i want to relearn
how to laugh, for my laugh in the mirror
shows only my teeth like snake's bare fangs

so show me, son,
how to laugh; show me how
i used to laugh and smile
once upon a time when i was like you

to my batchmates... does anyone of you remember this?! HAHAHA.
level 8 days are the best!!!!

thirtysixth post

2005-06-06T01:25:00.000-07:00

7 days na lang....

in a span of almost 2.5 months... i learned that family comes first, friends come second... idiots and morons are nowhere to be found.

yeah... haha.

i'd like to thank the following people.... before heading back to school. *yeah right*

1 coi/pat/anton/mykel/trixie- for being there... yada yada... *mushy stuff*. for making me see reality... for lightening my burden. yeah, for teaching how to speak out loud and for making me fight back against b*llshits. i have learned from you guys that 'once a moron, ALWAYS a moron.' *bow*

2 camyl/pauleen/mina- my online buddies. kakulitan... WTF. camyl... for never getting mad at me... for the summer slam experience... pauleen... wala lang. LOL. mina... for being my ka-kumon. and sa iba pa.

3 los banos people- for being the most accomodating people ever! for being uber kadoober friendly!!! for everything!!!

4 the shawarma- haha. dunno why... but this rocks!!!! i love the food!!! it's not really shawarma... basta chicken with cheese yada yada.

5 to all those who visited my blog- i had a rockin good time wit yea.

hahaha....

BIG TIME SENSUALITY.... BJORK ROCKS!!!!

this girl rocks!!! i swear!!!! favorite song ko from her is 'it's oh so quiet'....

haha... anyway... i went biking today. kaninang umaga, hahatid ko dapat grandma ko sa airport kasi she's going to austria pero super aga so nevermind na lang. haha.... i still haven't done my 6 kumon worksheets... eh maglelevel-up na ako. haha... ano un? computer game? haha.

basta. hehe. i'm gonna eat na. *damn i'm getting larger and larger by the minute* haha.

thirtyfifth post

2005-05-31T03:51:00.000-07:00

could somebody please tell me if it's supposed to be thritYfifth or thirtIfifth...?!?!

i might be looking like a total idiot now.

haha.

ok.

so i just found out that my section for level 10 is jb 44...

damn, that section is located in the 4th floor of the jb cluster.. which is basically the frontier/shrine of total isolation.

damnit.

then i found out that my class number is # 6

as in ********.

my mood? i'm so...... I DON'T KNOW!!!!

no comment na lang siguro... like pauleen. hahahaha.

ANYWAY

hehe... i just have to live with that... be optimistic *yeah right*

i hope everything will turn out just fine.

FINE.

this schoolyear will be great... *i wish*

june 13th looms near... yada yada.

waaaaaaahhhhhh....

haha.

thirtyfourth post

2005-05-29T14:27:00.000-07:00

just wanna share some thoughts on college... and the courses which i'd like to take... haha.

top 5

1 communication arts... i was inspired to take this up by my teacher in brain train, ma'am april.. she's a cum laude graduate.. *cum laude lang naman!!* and i think this course totally rocks. i get paid for my ideas... and there isn't that much math involved!!! tsaka science!!! *damn, i do hate courses with so much math and science!!!

2 psychology (BA)... hhmm... ung arts, hindi ung science ha! haha... it'd be really nice to become kind o' a psychic guru blah blah. haha.

3 forestry... i don't know why... and some o' yea might think it's CORNY... and it contains a lot of science... but i don't know... i really feel contented with this course... haha... nature lover kasi ako eh. and the people at uplb told me that this was a good course raw....

4 landscape architecture... haha... i know, this contains TONS of math... but i like the fact that you'd be able to beautify surroundings in an environment-friendly sort of way...

5 international studies... hhhmmm... this is a good course too... you get to be in different countries yada yada yada... haha. plus, you get to experience culture shocks. haha.

all of these... are in UP.

damn, i wish i could pass the upcat... first choice ko talaga is up los banos. haha... i hope to pass that test... i'll really study hard. i promise. haha... and pray really hard. i hope to pass the upcat. waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh. hell, i don't even have an application form yet. haha... but i hope to pass the upcat talaga. haha.

cge, that's all.

anyways....

congratulations to carrie underwood for winning the coveted 'american idol'!!! hahaha. ang galing nia!!!

belated happy birthday mykel!!! hope you liked my gift!!!

congratulations to trixie for their rockin' theatre show!!!! avenue q!!! she told me it kicked asses, and i believe her!!! now, you'll be feeling the same way i do. haha...

************************************

i just realized something......... i SHOULDN'T CARE ABOUT all *those* yada yadas... *not the college thing ha.*
damnit, why'd it take me so long to realize this.... well, at least... haha.
ings'

thirtythird post

2005-05-25T23:33:00.000-07:00

haha.

i just wanna post some pics.

hay, i miss my level 8 class. this class was the best. promise... haha... to all of you... (chan, gerald, miko, jula, jed, kaysee, reena, catherine, jessica, shayne, kiet, faith, renei, kevin, kendrick, rona, oba, richter ... pati na ung iba) wow... thanks for giving me one of the best years of my life... bm33 pa rin!!! wala akong naging serious problem dito... unlike @#$$%%^^$#@.... yea yea.

this was like... the first cd i bought... (alanis' jagged little pill) and the last i bought... (hale's hale... lol.) the BEST songs *i think* from hale is here tonight, and kung wala ka... and alanis' best songs are perfect, mary jane, and right through you. hay... idol ko sila.

clockwise from upper left.
*superman!!! my favorite hero aside from batman... bwahaha... un LANG ang gusto kong mga heroes. haha.
*does anyone of you ever remember DIGIMON?! damnit, i was like so addicted to those monsters!!! pinaka-favorite ko si joe kido... bwahaha. pati ung digimon nia... si gomamon... tanda ko pa un! gomamon-ikakumon *ata*- zudomon- marineangemon... bwahaha... pati pokemon...
*hhhmmmm teddy bear!!! kanino kaia un?!
*my toys!!! wahahaha... i miss playing with these guys!!!! i mean, don't you just wish that you were a kid again?!?! DON'T YOU?!?! when your world was still fragile... when you still had no contact with non-sense people?! waaaa....
*my 'playlist'... wahaha. those are some o' my CDs.
*lastly... those are the pokemon cards that i NEVER got to use. bwahaha.

************************************
from camyl (kapow.txt)

e2 ang story ng mga kanta ng hale...
why cant i just "TAKE NO" for an answer?! i know that
you love someone else but, i just cant understand. i love you, i really really love you and now my heart is broken.. so now i will just sing the "BROKEN SONNET " under the "BLUE SKY" to relieve the pain. suddenly, i remembered the days we were together, the laughter, the tears.. but the most memorable thing i have of you
is "THE DAY YOU SAID GOODNIGHT." coz that's the moment when you've taken me in. so when you said goodbye, i felt really really sad.. up until now, im "WISHING" that you will be "HERE TONGIGHT" coz i really, really nid you here.. kaya, "KAHIT PA" anong manyare, mahal pa rin kita.. just remember that i will be your "LIFE SUPPORT" . through the darkest
deserts, and even "UNDERNEATH THE WAVES" i will still be there. and if you think that you can "RUNAWAY" from me, you're dead wrong. i will be there behind you... and if you look back and you didn't see me,i've just "BENT DOWN".. napagod ako mamatay man ako kakahabol sayo, inding indi kita iiwan.. dahil hinding hindi ko kayang mabuhay "KUNG WALA KA"...

***********************************

awwwww... how sweet...

like i said, HALE ROCKS!!!!

camyl... thanks for the salong-panaginip. hehe.

thirtysecond post

2005-05-23T23:53:00.000-07:00

i'm alive! haha.

kwento ulit...

hay, finally i'm outta my hiatus! *beat that* ... so... latest? hhhmmm... mina's going to kumon! we have the same skeds! and finally, i have someone my age. ok...

mina and i talked kanina... about many things! haha.... bulik, classmates, whatever, and the THREE PEOPLE! \m/

and my new layout nga pala... ANGELS!!!

why? well, if you've lost someone... you'd LIKE to think that the person just became an angel.

whatever. haha....

btw, kaycee and tricia ang doing kumon too. weee...

camyl's going to HALE! dang!

hay... mykel, if you're listening... nuod na lang tau ng hale sa bday mo!!!

hehe... uh.... i'm still inquiring kung makakasali ako sa piano recital... *hope so

AI4 finals na tomorrow!!!! CARRIE CARRIE!!! haha... that girl is HOT.

i don't want this summer to end...

*promise.

*wtf.

*****************************************

camyl/migy -->anong tagalog!!!!

dreamer= panaginipero
popcorn= pumuputok na mais
washing machine= naglilinis na makinarya
microwave= maliit na alon
emergency light= ilaw para sa hindi inaasahang pangyayari
headphones/ earphones= ulong telepono/ tengang telepono
boombox= sumabog na kahon
spongebob squarepants= ispongha bobo parisukat na pantalon

yea yea. bwahahaha.

thrityfirst post

2005-05-14T03:14:00.000-07:00

i love you. goodbye.

hay.

thritieth post

2005-05-10T21:59:00.000-07:00

damnit, i don't know how to spell anymore. haha.

tama ba spelling? wtf. who cares....

hehe... i barely have the time to update this.... anyways... here's what's happened to me for the last couple o' days.

i had my simulated exams in my Brain Train.... and damnit, it was very time consuming, confusing, as in it was very WHATEVER.

math exam...

i really really studied hard for this subject kasi wala talaga akong talent sa math. *buti pa ung iba*

but anyhow, i found it quite easy... yea know* .... hehe... the type of exam wherein you don't really have to study.

so... i thought my 'kalbaryo' was over.... because i thought english was easy naman....

THINK AGAIN

english- language proficiency

i had no problem with this... correcting grammatical errors lang naman eh... so... aun. hehe.... plus, our proctor was very funny pa... his manner of speaking was infectious. hehe.

english- reading

i thought madali lang ung 90 items.... pero it was very time consuming, and confusing... kasi ang daming babasahin... hehe..... as in i was super drained... but i finished it...... with minutes to spare........ but i didn't bother reviewing BECAUSE i really felt that i was going to burf if i read another selection from the questionaire.

science

i thought that this would be hard also but i was easy... kasi i studied for chemistry... all those formulas... molarity gibberish. but it wasn't included! hehe... after the exam... kumain talaga ako... because my mind was so blank... lol... but anyway...

i still couldn't believe that my Brain Train is gonna end na this friday.......... waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh............ just when i was beginning to be comfortable with my classmates... waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh again............ i'm gonna miss all of them..... classmates, teachers.... hehe. how i wish it would extend for another two weeks......... they make learning so much fun.................. so for all of you out there who want to get to UP.... go to Brain Train *inadvertise ba naman* ........................ mamimiss ko talaga ung mga un!!! sobra.

anyways............. it's back to my normal life......... back to school..............

i can't believe that in 4 weeks, i'll be back again in la salle..........

hay, BORING.

i never really had that 'first day' jitter ever since................................................... evern since............... wtf.

kung ganon lang naman ang mapapala ko eh. nevermind.

waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh................ mamimiss ko talaga ung mga un............. *kulet*

hehe.

twentyninth post

2005-05-09T03:18:00.000-07:00

ok.

simulation exams na namin tomorrow........

HELP.

hehe........

twentyeighth post

2005-05-07T07:01:00.000-07:00

miss you mitch!!!

twentyseventh post

2005-05-07T02:30:00.000-07:00

damn, so freakin' bored.

i can't believe i'm actually going to say this, but i kinda miss the 'kakulitan' of my brothers...

they were whisked away to subic w/o me.

i'm freakin' alone.

hehe... anyways, i went bloghoppin' today... it was actually the first time i did that in two years. haha. lol.

so... i saw pauleen today, mag-kukumon raw cia. yehey! i finally have classmates who have the same age that i have! huwaaaaaaaaaaa..................

i re-edited my blog. i don't know but i feel like i would freak out if i don't change my layout at least twice a month. hehe. may sakit cguro ako... uh.... blog-osis? wtf. lolx.

i just realized that this is actually my first real post ever. haha.

and i bought the album of hale!!! waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh........ i can't believe i have one already... they're like, my favorite band of the moment. i like their music. it's different... it's more ballad-ish. hehe...

hale.1
spongecola.2
session road.3
rivermaya.4
kitchie nadal.5

hehe. i'm beginning to get addicted to opm na... pero punk still rox!!! yea yea. THE USED pa rin ako!!!

damnit, i miss my friends... *no exceptions* ... even though some of them are really duffus-es and morons. life wouldn't be the same without them... hehe.

and i'm beginning to get addicted again to AI4. bwahahaha.... my bets? vonzell/anthony. yeayea!!! pati rin si carrie pero more on the previous two ako.

who i'd like to be booted off next? BO.

kahit astig cia... hehe.

i like carrie from the moment she sang 'alone.' promise. hehe. kay vonzell, cguro ung 'i turn to you.' hehe... kai anthony? 'hold on to the night.' forget that CLIMB EVERY MOUNTAIN, because he FELL.

go. go. go.

twentysixth post

2005-05-06T05:18:00.000-07:00

wow. it's been quite a while...

i feel good.

i've stopped crying.............. yeah.

fortunately.

so........ what the hell happened for the last couple o' weeks............

#1 Brain Train.

ciempre, kasi luv na luv ko toh. the teachers are great, the students are even better. haha.

Math part- wow, ngayon ko lang nalaman na bobo pa rin pala ako sa math... hehe... pero dahil kay Ma'am Gem... naintindihan ko cia... super saya. as in.

mga joke pang nakakatawa......... hehe...........

Science part- well, what can i say... wala talaga akong alam dito........... lalo na sa Chemistry!!! hehe... 1 out of 4 lang pinasa ko!!! hehe...... 64% pa! nakakahiya!!! hehe........ pero super bait ng mga teachers... siguro kung teacher ko nung L9 ung teacher ko ngayon, mahihiligan kong ang Chem. promise... hehe.

English part- the easiest of them all... hindi ako nahihirapan......... KAFAL!!! hehe...... pero kwela rin ung mga teachers... super. Si Ms. April... wow.... hehe. basta, ang saya saya... worth ung pag-gising ko ng maaga... para lang maka-abot ng LB.

duh, meron ngang taga Ilocos, Cavite, Naga. hehe. lahat na.

so, un nga un.

#2 Meet-up

nagkita kami ni pat, mykel, chamie, at mark...

wala lang... nag-usap.

usual talk.

hai................. some people are just pure bull.

#3

uh............. siguro ung ATC moments ko.... hehe.... mag-isa ako.... sa nakakapag-gala ako... hehe....

so aun lang siguro muna.............

AI WAIT!!!

#4

SUMMER SLAM!!!!!!!!!!

wow!!! as in super excited ako dito! super fun pa! kasi feel na feel mo talaga ung pagiging rakista mo kasi lahat ng mga tao dun eh mga costumes eh super duper astig. mga goth, punk. blah blah... kami nga lang ni camyl ang may mga striking colors eh... lol. j/k.

tapos.... hhmmm.... pero bago un... nagpa-energize muna kami ke mr. jolibee!!! lolx... nakembot pa nga cia nun eh... para bigyan kami ng support... lolx.

then un na... nagkawalaan muna kami... then eventually nakita namin ung mga rockers... then un...

ihi. bugbugan. moshpit. rock. pizza. pepsi.

kaso nga lang NAUBUSAN KAMI NG SUMMER SLAM SHIRT.

sh*t.

hehe... so, ano pa ba... tapos may nag-rambulan pa dun sa tabi namin... GASH! hehe.

basta ang saya... pero hindi ko na inabutan ang bamboo... dang. hehe...

tapos nag- freak-out ako nung may binili kami ni Camyl.

grabe, super. hehe...

paranoia.

lolx...

so... aun lang naman muna................. hehe...

wtf.

twentyfourth post

2005-04-26T23:18:00.000-07:00

urban dictionary.

8. jack
n. a cigarette
v. to mess up someone/something

4. purple
v. - to get sexually "turned on"origin - originated from a mood ring that turned purple whenever one was in love

3. red
A state of light to medium embarassment. Often experienced when caught staring openly at the impressive cleavage of an attractive member of the opposite sex.

1. Fish face
A sad imature freek with a face like a fish

2. honk
A honk is one of those people who get up to get their overhead out as soon as the plane lands, that way getting off of the plane takes way too fucking long.

1. Trouser Snake
guys dick

haha.

urban dictionary

twentythird post

2005-04-25T04:31:00.000-07:00

the used- blue and yellow

and it's all in how you mix the two
and it starts just where the light exists

_> huh? how can i mix anxiety with depression? sh*t, this f*cks me off so bad. this is gonna be the LAST. i don't want to waste time anymore. how could some people be so stereotypical? putr*s. why do you always have to be 'in'? that's pure BULLSHIT.

it's a feeling that you cannot miss
and it burns a hole
through everyone that feels it

_> damn, it IS burning a hole. no one can miss this feeling, this feeling of whatever. damn it. you b*tch. i don't know... i don't know... you piss me off. it pisses me off. sh*t.

well your never gonna find it
if your looking for it
won't come your way
well you'll never find it
if your looking for it

_> yeah, i know. i should've done something better. i won't look for it. i know it's not going to happen... but bullsh*t, once it comes, it comes. be prepared. stop searching... huwag mangapa, magbasa ka. intindihin mo.

should've done something but I've done it enough
by the way your hands were shaking
rather waste some time with you

_> why would i waste my time on you? this would really be the last time i waste time on you... i hope. abhor. hate. abominate. i just hate your being stereotypical... you always get jealous... i can't believe you're made of pure jell-o. nothing more, nothing less.

and you never would have thought in the end
how amazing it feels just to live again

_> yeah, i will live. this is the last straw. i promise.

it's a feeling that you cannot miss
it burns a hole through everyone that feels it

_> once i get back on my feet -i just need time- ... damnit, i just don't know what i'll be. i don't know what i could be able to do to you. this is just the freakin' point of no return.

should've said something but I've said it enough
by the way my words were faded
rather waste some time with you

_> i can do this. sh*t.

sorry, another blogpost full of cornflakes.

twentysecond post

2005-04-17T22:08:00.000-07:00

i have shed scores of oceans,

have paddled across the unfathomable sea,

have sauntered through the pins of darkness,

yet my spirit ceased to die...

beyond the horizons and the blue haven,

i see splendor, clarity, safety, and gaeity.

where art thou my angel?

i weep...

thorns of anguish have been prevailed,

the cry of my sould has been answered.

i was forsaken.

now, i am cosseted with the agile affection...

i have seen the angel,whose sword sprung upon me...

saved me and brought hope.

upon my yearning,

the stars are amidst my phantom...

the sun shines through my empathy...

you have gifted me with salvation...

and love has conquered me.

gratitude should be offered,to the angel whose wings,
have been a shield to every mighty quandary...
thank you dear angel, thank you.

i love you,your very soul muses through every beat of this heart i possess.

twentyfirst post

2005-04-16T16:57:00.000-07:00

if you're really there... show yourself... hehe...

i see you.

this is like, my 4th layout na. hehe... i'm just so bored this summer that i could change my layout, 3 times a day... hehe...

yesterday was the 16th... my 28th with coi. hard to understand? hehe...

i just read her post... and kamukha ko raw si crisel...

huh?!

wtf. hehe...

so, 3 days na lang... i hafta wake up early na with jula... kasi malayo pa ang lalakbayin namin... patungo sa lupain ng los banos.

brain train kasi... brain train nga ba or brain DRAIN?!

i hope may matutunan ako dun... hehe... sana lang... kasi i have to reschedule my track practice... hehe... mahirap rin un.

sana matuloy na ung taal expedition naming mga ka-piso (yes, yaan na ang tawag sa aming mga camp-piso-ers) hehe... si pat ang nagpasimula dahil nag-send cia sakin ng quote... may ka-piso... so aun...

same ground. hehe... the songs really heartfelt.

hehe... so ano pa ba, i had a dream... i very strange dream again. nakakatakot... haha...

may varcity sexion raw next year... YEHEY!!!! bwahahahaha....

sana.... sana lang.... hehe...

if you guys have any comments on my layout... please drop by the tag-board... ayt?! i'd really appreciate it. hehe...

twentieth post

2005-04-15T03:36:00.000-07:00

wow... 20th post na.

gawd... hehe...

wtf happened...

well... wednesday....

as usual, nag-track... i'm really getting the hang of it... i'm enjoying it... hehe...

and my teammates are just, the best. hehe...

after training, nag-mcdo kami then pat fetched me... then for the first time, nag-GB ako... haha... add nio ako!!!

pink_punk. hehe...

nakakaenjoy mag-GB... i swear... hehe... then after that nag-mcdo ulit sila...

hindi ako, kasi ala nanLIBRE saken. hehe...

then un... lolx... bumalik kami sa shop... then nag-internet... nag-PEX sina mykel at pat... lolx... ako naman eh kabang-kaba sa AI4.

auko ma-out si anthony. hehe... anthony, carrie, constantine, vonzell.

go go go!!!

aun... then thursday... na-out si nadia... kawawa naman cia... hehe... dapat si scott na lang... i don't like him anyway... hehe... honor's assembly nga pala ngayon, and i didn't attend. i was bored. hehe...

friday...

so, i just finished training....

fuck, nagweights kami... and the dumbells and barbells were so heavy... plus, ala pang fan...

so it's so damn hot. swear... it's like hell.

then nag-mcdo kami... actually, last morning training ko na to kasi next week hapon na because i have this review with jula... haha... in los banos... so super pagod un... hehe...

then i went to alabang... na lagi nang nawalan ng ilaw... then after that... umuwi ako...

tapos inayos ko ung camp blog. hehe... aus na cia!!! visit it here

ninteenth post

2005-04-11T05:02:00.000-07:00

f*ck... i finally got the layers...

so... ano ba nangyari ngaun...

4.30... nagising ako. grabe... napakatraumatic.

7.00... nagising na talaga ako... as in GISING. hehe... aun, naligo... then kumain... kasi i have training... *shux*

7.40... hinatid ko mga kapatid ko sa malarayat... they have swimming lessons kasi eh... eh sa lasalle pa ako... lolx...

8.15... asa lasalle na ako... una kong nakita si donald... tapos si agatha at irene... wala pa si coach dodo. hehe...

9.00... completo na... andun na si kaysee, richter, and joan... pero wala pa rin talaga si coach dodo. wtf.

9.30... finally!!! andun na si coach... wtf.

10.00... takbo... takbo... takbo... nakita ko sina izel, regine, at evan. pinakain ako ng mga trackmates ko ng saging kasi pampalakas raw un... fine. what the heck... try it.

11.30... after 1.5 hours... grabe, super pagod. pinalayas na kami ni coach... hehe...

11.45... super kain sa mcdo. super laugtrip... lalo na dun sa naipit. diba richter?

12.00... robinsons...

so aun... basta... un na un... antok na ko... hehe...

eighteenth post

2005-04-05T20:10:00.000-07:00

Dirty Little Secret

- Sarah Maclachlan -

If I had the chance, love
I would not hesitate
To tell you all the things I never said before
Don't tell me it's too late

[Chorus:]
Cause I've relied on my illusions
To keep me warm at night
But I denied in my capacity to love
I am willing, to give up this fight

I've been up all night drinking
To drown my sorrow down
Nothing seems to help me since you went away
I'm so tired of this town
Where every tongue is wagging
When every back is turned
Their telling secrets that should never be revealed
There's nothing to be gained from this
But disaster..

Here's a good one..
Did you hear about my friend
He's embarrassed to be seen now
Because we..
Oh no.
Be seen..

If I had the chance love
You know, I would not hesitate
To tell you all the things I never said before
Don't tell me it's too late

[Chorus:]
Cause I've relied on my illusions
To keep me warm at night
But I denied in my capacity to love
I am willing, to give up this fight
Oh, I am willing to give up this fight..

God... isa sa mga pinakamagandang kanta na napagkinggan ko...

hehe... go buy Sarah Maclachlan's Afterglow

hindi mo cia pagsisisihan...

Ciet, anlapit na talaga ng card-giving... which made me think again about jb34...

as wierd and stupid as it may seem... i'd like to thank these 4 classmates who've helped me get through this year...

yes, 4 is my new favorite number... haha...

f*ck, this is gonna be so full of cornflakes.

1 Cocoi... for being the bestest girlfriend anyone could ever have... nothing can ever surpass the comfort you've let me felt. in so much of giving, i hope i also gave you something worth keeping... which is... hehe... wtf.

2 Anton... for being the bestest new bestfriend... ever. haha... for helping me with so many darn problems... please know that we're here always... and it wouldn't be a case of stupidity if you open up to us... thanks for being there, for letting me realize that i needed to move on... thanks for everything.

3 Pat... for being the bestest comic bestfriend... for abusing mykel always... for those worthwhile talks... for all those 'hindi-ko-alam's.... hehe... for the food, and best of all, the support.

4 Mykel... for being the bestest talkative bestfriend... for all those talks... for all those lessons... for all those 'arguings'... those moments were really worth keeping... for letting me see the real scenario... for opening me up to reality... for letting me know that i can't have everything... haha... you know what i'm talkin' about.

btw, bagong logo ng blog namin... hehe...

wtf.

seventeenth post

2005-04-03T21:18:00.000-07:00

wtf... hehe... first post for april!!! yehey!!!

so... i'd like to narrate na lang... one of the incidents on march 31.

ang hanapan ng piso.

ayuko nung neggers vs. ampotek ni polin... kasi dinaya kami nina pat at anton... haha... j/k.

so... ayun na... grabe talaga... nakakapagod maghanap ng munting piso sa pool... hehe... pero nakakatuwa... it was an experience you'd truly treasure.

i got to spend it with my friends... hehe...

grabe talaga... it was really very funny.... i was so happy... god, for the first time in months, i felt happy.

i owe it all to coi, pat, anton, mykel, polin, chamie, tricia, mark, kaycee, jordan, mina. wtf.

nabunyag. hehe... but, whatever...

it really was one of the best times of my life as a teenager... haha... lalo na ung car ride... god, i could never forget that.

pak-one anyone? haha...

girls, girls, girls, girls?

guys...

mina and me...

it's us. wtf... hehe...

then nung april 2... nanuod kami ng graduation... i was with mykel and trish...

acutually nung una... si mykel lang... sabi ko 11.30 kami magkikita, then un... 1pm cia sumulpot... grabe, talk about timing. kaya hindi naunlad ang pilipinas eh...

then nakita namin sina trish and then chamie...

wtf, yellow ang color of the day.

then nagkahiwalay kami... kasi sina chamie eh nakapasok... kami, sa kasamaang palad... ay hindi. so aun... nanuod kami ng bahay ni lola pt.2 haha... kakatuwa si chokoleit and john lapus...

shoo fly, don't bother me. - john lapus

isa kang antipatikang bakla- chokoleit

haha... kakatuwa... then hinatid namin si tricia... then hinintay namin si pat... lolx...

nag-mcdo...

umuwi...

ayun, wtf.

but i just have to say, some things are not worth even the least amount of inadequate attention...

i don't want to stoop down to someone's subconcious level of foolishness and stupidity. i have enough knowledge to know what needs to be given the proper amount of attention from what doesn't.

darn you... hehe...

let's just all be happy.

sixteenth post

2005-03-31T16:52:00.000-08:00

sunburned

wtf

hehe...... super... hehe... i had the most wonderful day yesterday.

wait lang, did you know that cartoon characters only have 3 fingers and 1 thumb? why? i don't freakin' know.

lolx........ sunog.

fifteenth post

2005-03-25T23:33:00.000-08:00

Your Seduction Style: The Charmer

You're a master at intimate conversation and verbal enticement.
You seduce with words, by getting people to open up to you.
By establishing this deep connection quickly, people feel under your power.
And then you've got them exactly where you want them!

What Is Your Seduction Style?

You Belong in 1964

1964

If you scored...

1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!

1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too.

1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all!

1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day.

1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

What Year Do You Belong In?

You Are 40% Normal

(Somewhat Normal)

While some of your behavior is quite normal...

Other things you do are downright strange

You've got a little of your freak going on

But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

How Normal Are You?

darn.... so bored.

fourteenth post

2005-03-23T05:18:00.000-08:00

anxieties

we're breaking up.

for three reasons.... ****, ***, and ***.

move up, grow up. f*ck off.

joke!!! hehe... ala lang...

be happy, don't indulge yourself into something not worth your time... into something that CANNOT EVER BE.
okay... so now i have the time to write.

god, i have been OL all dei... hehe.... just because of this freakin' blog.

i chose the theme of waterfalls because i feel that waterfalls have a very significant meaning in life.
marami siyang sinisymbolize. i like it.

let us fall until we can... we will be catched by the one we will become.

"you know you did it, i'm gone
to find someone to live for in this world...
there's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight,
just a bridge that i gotta burn..."
Kelly Clarkson- Gone

i like the song... god. hehe...

so, what technically changed was the layout... hindi na siya green... then nag-update ako ng mga links, i also updated the tagboard... ankyut nia.

then i noticed na masyadong matagal mag-load kasi andaming pictures, kaia gagawa na lang ako ng slideshow tapos i'll place it in a separate window... lol. all for the sake of convenience...

ano pa ba, hai nako, we were supposed to have a get-together at trixie's but kaso nga lang eh hindi sumama si jula kaia hindi natuloy.

oh well, there' always next time. hehe...

uh, i also have to fulfill my obligations dun sa iba ko pang blogs... actually 3 sila. lol.

nakaka-adik. lol.

whatever... hehe...

wtf...

for the first time, na-miss ko ang jb34. hehe... i don't know why... but hey, summer is just around the corner... make the most out of it.

outdo others. kaia natin to!!! lol.

wtf talaga.

thriteenth post

2005-03-22T23:10:00.000-08:00

thanks trixie!!! kahit ako ung gumawa ng lay-out ko all-out support ka pa rin!!!

huwao!!! new lay-out... hehe

bakit waterfalls??? anla, next time na. nakakatamad.

pagod na ko.

lol.

wtf.

twelfth post

2005-03-13T19:30:00.000-08:00

malapit na talaga ang bakasyon... atat na atat na ako.

i want to LEAVE...

exams na... kayang kaya... hehe... basta may tiwala sa sarili.

bakit?

bakit?

bakit?

lagi na lang ganon ang tanong natin sa sarili natin. emo-mode na naman talaga ako... nakakabagot na... lagi na lang ganito.

p*t*ng*n* ang drama.

ang sarap mabuhay, ang hirap maging buhay... pag wala kang kasama... anong gagawin mo?

no man is a god-darn island.

sometimes we have to choose... pero there will really come a time na may mga taong magiging hinderance sa mga bagay-bagay... kala mo ligtas ka, un pala hindi.

plastic

bakit, tinatamaan ka?

issue na naman toh...

un lang naman ang role ng iba diba? manira ng buhay ng may buhay... akala mo ok lang, pero masakit. pero wala kang magagawa, kailangan mo pang tumuloy sa mga pagsubok.

mahirap, pero kaya

may mga tao talagang mawawal sa'yo... wala ka nang magagawa dun... kasi sobra na ang pinaglaban mo, pero wala pa rin... siguro hindi talaga pwede.

wala akong maramdaman.

t*ng*n*, WALA

hindi pwedeng mabasag ang puso ko... HINDI basag ang puso ko... kasi ni minsan hindi naman siya naging BUO.

... diba minsan may mga pagkakataon na sasabihin mo sa sarili mo, sana manhid na lang ako, nang ganon... WALA akong mararamdaman.... pero ganyan lang talaga ang buhay eh...

drama...

o eh ano ngayon kung DRAMA? eh diba ang buhay dapat DRAMATIC? masyadong mahirap... pero ang sarap ng pakiramdam pag narating mo na ang kaligayahan.

hindi ko siguro muna maiintindihan ngayon... pero huwag mong abangan... darating to ng kusa.

hindi PILIT.

at talunan ka pag iyon sumuko ka na. huwag kang sumuko.

buhay. buhay. buhay.

eleventh post

2005-02-15T23:09:00.000-08:00

awkie. ciet.

hhhmmm... huwaooo.... pang-eleventh time ko na to mag-post.

hehe... ano nga ba ang nangyari?

well, kaka-celebrate lang namin ng school fair. so iyon na lang siguro ang ikwekwento ko... ayt?

02.07.05

wala lang. nag-mass. tapos ayun... nakakabagot.

02.08.05

ok... so wala ring nangyari noon. kasi... wala lang. may bago akong na-realize... hehe...

02.09.05

ok, so umabsent ako... kasi.... hehe... napakapersonal.

02.10.05

so, this is the beginning of the fair na. so ano nga ba ang nangyari ngayon? hehe... so ito na nga, nung morning... parang wala lang. kasi bili lang sina pat ng bili. so un na nga... pero the fun really began nung afternoon kasi nagbasaan kami. tapos wala pa akong extrang damit. so ang saya talaga.... i was with anton, cocoi, pat, and the others the whole day. nakaka-fuck up nga lang kasi... basta.

02.11.05

the freakin' second day. i came well prepared for the water fight kasi may dala na akong t-shirt. kaso nga lang eh ciet kasi umulan. nawala ung saysay ng water fight. grabe, hehe... pero nagbasaan pa rin naman kami nonetheless. kasabay ko mag0lunch noon si coi at arik. at nakakabagot na naman kasi... basta.

02.12.05

ok, so this is the last freakin' day of the fair. nakakabagot, wala lang. tapos un... kahit nakakabagot, masaya pa rin. tapos uminit ang ulo ko nung hapon kasi hindi ko ba malaman kung manonood ako ng movie or what... basta. tapos all's well that ends well. ok pa rin naman ang mga nangyari. basta masaya.

so, ayun ung fair experience ko...

nakakainis... kasi... basta.

lagi na lang namang basta.

tenth post

2005-02-03T10:34:00.000-08:00

ciet, i need to write...

gusto ko lang i-point out ung isa sa mga mahahalagang bagay na nangyari... the week before last week...

ung concert... kasi hindi pa ako nakakapagblog tungkol dun eh.

ang pagtatapos

ganito kasi un, filipino time pa lang... atat na atat na ako... kahit medyo depressed kasi may hindi nakasama... atat na atat pa rin ako... kasi gusto kong makita ang session road... huwaa!!! patay na patay ako sa babaeng yoon!!! ung lead singer nila na si hanna... so un... ung one hour na un pinakamahabang one hour na yata sa buhay ko.

ang pagbibihis

tapos na ang lahat... at ako'y nagbihis na sa CR... kasama ko si arik, pero ako lang ang nagbihis... ang suot ko pa nun ay ung bigay saking shirt ni pat... ciempre, dapat memorable rin ung suot ko noh. tapos un, nag-usap kami ni arik habang hubo't-hubad ako... [joak lang... hehe... may suot pa rin naman ako kahit papano...]

ang paglalamon

kumain muna kami, kasama si arik, coi, aaron, at camyl... tapos un... wala lang... atat na atat na talaga ako... as in super... session road!!! huwaaaa!!!! wala rin naman ata akong natatandaan na kinain ko eh... para honestly, ayoko talagang kumain... un ang least favorite kong gawin... bakit nga ba nating kailangang kumain?! para ko na ring sinabing bakit pa natin kailangang mabuhay...

ang pabaon

paalis na kami... then wala lang... bingyan kami ni arik ng mga oil foils... ankyut!!! OIL FOILS... haha. mag-gaganun raw kami pag-manunuod na kami ng concert at tamaan kami ng camera't spotlight.

ang pag-intay

actually, late si karl.

ang pag-alis

dumating na dad ni camyl, tapos dun kami ni karl sa likod, si prinsesa camyl nasa unahan. hehe... tapos nakinig lang kami ng radio... biglang na-plug ung boulevard of broken dreams... as in CIET, tinamaan na naman ako.

ang pag-iintay pt.2

kasi ba naman... traffic.

ang pag-kain

huwao... chowking na naman ako... as usual, chao fan. talagang na-adik na ako dun... ang sarap sarap kasi... tapos nag-magic si prinsesa camyl, na as usual ay super duper corny na naman... wala ka nang maasa pa. hehe... tapos pumasok ung bassist ng 6 cycle mind sa chow king... HINDI KO SIYA PINANSIN. nakakainis!!! siya pala un!!! sana nakahingi na ako ng autograph early on!!! personalized pa un!!! huwaaa. nakaka-pika...

ang pag-iwas

tumawid si prinsesa camyl. kamuntikan na siyang mabangga. tanga. joke!!! hehe.... sabi kasi niya ang tanga-tanga raw niya.

ang paghahanap

grabe mr. baker... kung sino ka man... ang hirap po hanapin ng hall ninyo. paikot-ikot pa kami sa buong UP... ang liit-liit lang pala ng hall niyo, pero astig. ang ganda pa ng langit, ang ganda rin ng camera ko na may 11 shots pang natitira. hehe...

ang pag-bili

actually, kilala ko ung organizer, tapos un... bumili ako ng 4 tickets para kay dady camyl, karl, camyl, at ako. pumasok na kami... konti pa tao... then nalaman ko na 9PM PA PALA ANG START NG CONCERT. ang sabi ni camyl 7PM... grabe, talk about BEING EARLY.

ang pag-intay

nakaupo lang kami kasi antagal-tagal... tapos dun kami sa front row... siyempre... VIP ata kami... joke!!! nag-usap sina camyl at karl ukol sa mga chucks... at hindi ako makarelate kasi hindi ako naka-chucks noon. nagmuni-muni na lang ako tungkol sa mga PROBLEMA ko nung araw na iyon... sa studies, sa mga TAO, sa KAIBIGAN... ewan ko ba, bugbog na talaga ako. f*ck it.

ang pagsisimula

habang pinaplay ung presentation nung sorority, wala lang... hehe... tapos nagsimula na ung bands for the opening act. una muna is CARAMEL from DLS Dasma, and they played rivermaya songs... pinaka-gusto ko sa songs nila ung 'awit ng kabataan'... pero sana pinlay rin nila ung 'himala'... kasi ang astig ng kantang un. then sumunod ung POWA [tama ba spelling?] who played old songs... ang naintindihan ko lang eh ung 'highway to hell' eh... wahaha. then may mga umepal samin.

6 cycle mind

like i said, super disappointed ako kasi hindi ko nakuha ung autograph ng bassist nila nung nasa chowking kami. tang*na. favorite ko sa songs nila eh 'mangarap ka' at ung encore, 'sige.' huwa!!! nakakuha si karl ng shirt!!! kasi ba naman... hehe... 2 shirts kasi un... ung una nahablot ko na tapos biglang may nang-agaw... dangit. ung 2nd kinuka ni karl... grabe, KUDOS.

Okey lang naman ang ating usapan/ Hindi na lang babalikan ang nakaraan/ Ang nakaraan

spongecola

camyl's moment... umirit ang mga tao... umirit si camyl... sumigaw rin ako.. hindi naman kasi ako GANON kafamiliar sa mga kanta nila eh. pero astig talaga ung jeepney at KLSP... paboritong-paborito ko talaga un... para un sa mga taong KULANG LANG TALAGA SA PANSIN.

nauubos din ang luha/ natutuyo at nawawala/ naglalaho rin pala

session road

ciet, my moment. ang ganda ganda ganda ganda ganda ganda talaga ni hanna!!! ang haba ng buhok!!! artistahin!!! malapit pa sa audience... nakikipag-interact talaga siya!! dangit, 2 shots na lang ung camera ko... kasi naman... sabi ni camyl picturan pa raw kasi si mr. yael... haha... pero astig talaga!!! dito lang ako nabuhay ng husto... sayang hindi ako nakakuha ng poster!!! kainis nga eh... tapos, un... hehe... kinanta naman nila ng 'leaving you'... na walang-dudang napaka-astig. bagay sakin ang kantang un... grabe, wala na talaga akong masabi... ang galing galing galing talaga ng session road.

i'm tired of waiting here for you/ can't waste my time i'm leaving you

ang pag-lisan

gabi na. tulog na. paalam.

bakit ko ba pin-lug toh after 2 weeks? kasi may concert ngayon, 2.04.05, sa baker hall ulit... rockers na talaga ang may concert, andun ang kjwan, kamikaze... basta mga un... hehe... gusto ko ngang sumama eh... pero may gagawin ako, may KAKAUSAPIN ako... sana ung sacrifice kong manuod eh worth nung pakikipag-usap na gagawin ko. pero GUSTONG GUSTONG GUSTONG GUSTONG gusto ko talaga panuorin ang hinayupak na concert na iyan... pero gaya nga ng sabi ko, may kakausapin ako.

ano pa ba??

insensitivity.

bakit ba pag may-ginagawa ka sa tao, hindi niya un pinapansin? sobra naman un... minsan iniisip mo kung 'worth it' ba ung ginawa mo... kung ung mga sakripisyo mo ay katumbas ng taong un.

was it really worth it?

i don't know.

but life goes on... i have to move on.

i'll end this blog by this song:

if i never see your face/ if wings take you away from me/ if tomorrow never happens/ if the world comes tumbling down and crumbles all around us/ fate turns cruel, you're on your knees/ so desperate for one truth/ know that I HAVE LOVED YOU

ciao.

ninth post

2005-02-01T23:33:00.000-08:00

INSENSITIVE

How do you cool your lips
After a summer’s kiss
How do you rid the sweat
After the body bliss
How do you turn your eyes
From the romantic glare
How do you block the sound
Of a voice you’d know anywhere
Oh, i really should have known
By the time you drove me home
By the vagueness in your eyes
Casual good-byes
By the chill in your embrace
The expression on your face
That told me
You might have some advice to give
On how to be
Insensitive
How do you numb your skin
After the warmest touch
How do you slow your blood
After the body rush
How do you free your soul
After you’ve found a friend
How do you teach your heart
It’s a crime to fall in love again
Oh, you probably won’t remember me
It’s probably ancient history
I’m one of the chosen few
Who went ahead and fell for you
I’m out of vogue, i’m out of touch
I fell too fast, i feel too much
I thought that you might have
Some advice to give on how to be
Insensitive

eh di ako naman ang magagalit niyan kaya nga!!! ewan kpo ba sau kung bakit ka kam[pi kay *toot*
eh kasi.... BOYFRIEND mo kaya siya... yea have to understand! duh~~~ what du u mean understand!!!!! eh un na nga yung poiunt eh// i UNDRSTAND him... na meron [a ring ga nun u[p to now
o... eh bakit ka nga galit?
kase.... ewan// trip??? atska sinumbong ko lang naman sya kay *toot* kase nakasalubong k lang yun.. eh nagnhihiran ng bulb at vreceptacle.. tapos ayun.. basta.. dumugo pa nga yung lips ni *toot*
TANGA!!! you let that insensitive bitch in to the picture? bitch as in *toot* ha.. hindi *toot*... tsaka maskakampihan ko naman si *toot* no matter what noh!
alam ko naman n eh.. pero ewan/// ang saya kaseng magsumbong... hehe wala lang.. kase KSP talaga ko kanina.. yan tuloy bad trip na ko.. huhu T-T
yeah, whatever... ambabao mo naman!
o,mg... panu nga plaa yung fil natin waaaaaaaaaaaa
yeah, i mean, dapat the best yung atin...kasi... wala lang... as in dapat walang binatbat ung iba.
yeah ill really try my best kase... u7 know... pero kaso lang may issue pa kau ni *toot*.. ewan ko sa inyo
ano bang issue?!?! ang kapal mo naman.. wala naman kaming issue... kayo lang ang nagawa.!matagal na kaung may issue.. galit na nga saken.. pero u know.. this time.. sya naman ang makipagbati kase im sick and tired na lage na lang ako nagsososry.... amfnes..... bahala na talaga.,.. gusyo ko nang umuwi... KAYA NGA!!! KASI NGA DAPAT MAGANDA UNG ATIN... THE Script needs to be finished by friday... para mapractice natin sa mga BAHAY natin ng weekends... ayoko ko kaya magpractice ng weekends... at tsaka kaya lang naman nagkaissue kasi INIISIP mo na may issue. makipagbati ka na kasi... grabe, of all the people, AKO pa ang nagsasabi sayong makipagbati ka. why??? ayoko talaga,,, i wanna quit na nga.. kung di ko lang tlagaa sya love.. nako... gege anu bang assignment? tatapusin ko na nga lang yung fil.. pero nagpadala rin ako kay sis ng minus ones... chem seatwork lang naman ung asyment.... un lang.... why??? kasi parang... mistaken 'enemis' kami sinabe m9o pa.... kaya nga ewan ko... ewan ko talaa.. nabobobo na talaga ko!!!! waaaaaaaa... i knew it would come to this... NABOBOBO NA TAYONG LAHAT!!!! huweee......

ayan... pag-uusap namin yan...

dadada na naman yang mga walang magawa sa buhay....

wait lang.... gusto ko lang ipoint ung kanta...

wala lang... hehe... ang astig kasi.

bakit ba wala tayong mga feelings???

tao naman tayo... hehe... basta!

what the hell happened...

eighth post

2005-01-16T18:59:00.000-08:00

huy people!!! aw may gaosh... hehe... it's been TOO long...

caught up kasi masyado sa schoolwork...

uh... una, ung exams... well, ok lang naman un... kasi wala naman talaga akong ineexpect sa ibang subject maliban sa social science, english, and filipino... at mabuti naman kasi i got high grades there... hehe...

tapos there was this issue... about losers. hehe...

ayt?

then, first day pa lang, binulabugan na kami ng sangkatutak na project... math, english, at marami pang iba...

lalo na ang chemistry ip... as in we haven't done anything.

then, there was also this time... actually, these TIMES... wherein i feel depressed... but hey, hehe... that's life.

live it, or LEAVE it.

Boulevard of Broken Dreams...

ang theme song ko... bwahaha...

I walk a lonely road
The only one I that have ever known
Don't know were it goes
But its home and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the Blvd. of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone
My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find
Till then I'll walk alone
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh
I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And were I walk alone
Read between the lines of what's
Fucked up and every things all right
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk aloneI walk alone
I walk aloneI walk alone
I walk a...My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find
Till then I'll walk alone
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh
I walk this empty street
On the Blvd. of broken dreams
Were the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a..
My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find
Till then I'll walk alone!

seventh post

2005-01-03T16:16:00.000-08:00

huwao... ang saya... malapit na ang pasukan...

pero masaya rin naman ung vacation noh... kahit papano...

hehe... pumunta akong tagaytay ngayon....

and i've done something which i haven't done for a long long time... horseback riding.

hahaha!!! i know... hehe... pero ansaya!!! ang horse ko eh si '#69' ... lolx...

tapos kumain ako... ang sarap ng food... hehe...

nanunuod ako ng 'Christmas With The Simpsons'.... hehe

pero before i end this... gusto ko munang gayahin si mykel at pat... doon sa kanilang thank you people... hehe...

------------------------------

1 Family- siyempre where would i be without them...

2 Cocoi- why? hehe... any beautiful reason you can think of, THAT is why.

3 Mykel- number three siya... hehe... kahit feeling ko eh kaaway niya ako ngayon... ay hindi yoon nagbibigay ng reason para magalit ako sa kanya... maraming-marami itong naitulong sa akin... thanks for everythin'!

4 Pat- pat!!! hehe... salamat sa lahat!!! one time ko pa lang yan nakaka-away!!! hehe... ang sarap nitong maging friend!!!

5 Matthew- so many 'impediments'... hehe... hindi ko inaakalang magiging close kami... pero naging close kami!!! haha... hindi ko maintindihan....

6 Anton- akala ko nung una makakaaway ko si anton... dahil dati kaaway niya si mykel eh kaclose ko si mykel... hehe... pero hindi pala... lolx...

7 Arik- huwao... hehe.... thanks for puttin' up with me always!

8 Paolo- pao... ang friend kong lagi kong binabalik-balikan... salamat!

9 Avis- my sister... hehe... no need to ask why... the answer's obvious.

10 Trixie- best friend ko toh' since grade 6... kasi pag naghiwalay kami maghahamapasan kami ng walis... hehe...

11 Daph- daphne!!! sorry for everythin'!!! hehe... accident prone kami nito.

12 Tricia- i really never thought i'd be close to this girl... hehe... salamat sa lahat!

13 Raemart- ahehe... since grade 4 ko pa to kilala!!!

14 Camyl- moley!!! hindi siya napipikon... that's what i like about her... sana tumutulong ka sa ating mga joint 'partnerships'

15 JB34- love yea'll!!!

16 Everyone else- tandang-tanda ko toh'... eto ung sinabi ko sa english... 'everyone else'... haha... salamat sa inyong lahat!!!

sixth post

2005-01-02T16:47:00.000-08:00

It was the first snow of the season
i can almost see you breathin
in the middle of that empty street

Sometimes i still see myself
in that lonesome bedroom
playin my guitar
and singing songs of hope
for a better future

life is only as good as the memories we make
and i'm taking back what belongs to me

polaroids of classrooms unattended
these relics of remembrence
are just like shipwrecks
only theyre gone faster
than the smell after it rains

last night while everyone was sleepin
i tripped through my old neighborhood
and resurrected memories from ashes

we said that we would never
we were really just like them
does rebellion ever make a difference

life is
only
as good as the memories we make
and im taking back what belongs to me
these relics of remembrence
are just like shipwrecks
only theyre gone faster
than the smell after it rains

So long astoria
i found a map to buried treasure
and even if we come home empty handed
well still have our stories
of battle scars, pirate ships and wounded hearts,
broken bones, and all the best of friendships

and when this hourglass
has filtered out
its final grain of sand
i raise my glass to the memories we had
this is my wish
this is my wish
im takin back
im takin them all back

grabe... ang hilig ko talaga sa 'The Ataris'... hehe...

hhhmmm... ano nga gang nangyari kahapon... well, in the coldest of january mornings... nag-swimming ako.... hahaha

eh antagal ko na kasi gustong mag-swimming eh!!! kaya ayun... i went on with it... i didn't get sunburn anyway... sayang.... hehe

then after lunch.... [grabe ang sarap nung meal... promise!].... nagswimming ulit ako... lolx... kasama ko kasi ung mga cousins ko...

tsaka ayun... hehe... basta... ang sarap mag-swimming... the water was so darn cold!!!

then sinamahan ko muna ung tita ko... tapos dapat magpapagupit ako kasi nga lang no one said that i was gonna be hair-cut inspection already on wednesday... so... hehe... i didn't get a hair-cut...

i like my long hair anyways... hehe

then after that... hhhmmm...

my cousins and i watched 'Freaky Friday'... astig nga eh!!! andun pala si Chad Michael Murray... hhhmmm.... i wonder, how's it like workin' with Lindsay... then with Hilary?! they're 'arch-enemies' right?!

tapos...

natulog na ako... hehe...

nga pala, kumain nga pala muna ako... THEN natulog... lolx...

fifth time

2005-01-01T16:49:00.000-08:00

i'm so happy.... hehehe

i'm uber happy.... hehehe

i really enjoy the first day of this year... hehe

we went to pick up my cousins from canada in my lolo's house and then we went malling... and eventually, i lost all my money again.

whatever happened to new year's resolutions?!?! hehe... i'll try to save talaga... promise!!!

hhhmmm... then we ate... and i ate a lot... and then when we got home... which was like 11 in the evening... i managed to watch the final episodes of 'sex and the city'...

i remembered my friends... awww!!!!

i am just so glad!!!

after that, we watched to unedited version of the last installment of the lord of the rings... there were uncut scenes there...

and it's early morning already...

matthew and i were texting each other a little while ago... and.... we.... talked... hehehe

gawd... i am just so happy!!!

hehe... hhhmm... what else?! i already finished reading 'the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe...' and i began embarking on reading this very inspiring book called 'letting go' by the late morrie schwartz... i really wish i had met him... he must've been a really great person...

so... that's what basically happened... hehe

i'm just so happy!!! i love yea'll!!!

fourth time

2004-12-31T01:59:00.000-08:00

i'm happy!!!

hehe... i just finished our [me and camyl] website!!! i finished the layout na... pero si camyl na bahala dun sa ibang contents!!! nakakapagod eh!!!

huwao... new year na!!! i hope all of us have had our new year's resolutions na... hehe... ano kaya ang new year's resolution ko.... ay meron na pala... HUWAG GUMASTOS... hehe

anlakas na nga ng paputukan dito eh!!! for sure hindi na ako makakatulog, nakakaexcite!!! hehe... pero wala pa tao dito... nasa batangas sila... ako andito naiwan... huhu... j/k!!!

sana magustuhan ni camyl ung layout ko!!! pinaghirapan ko un!!! hehe...

tagalog na tagalog eh... makapag-english nga...

hhhmmm... the vacation is almost over... and classes are just around the corner... but that's ok!!! cause' i like going to school... not for the lessons, but because of my friends... hehe...

enough about that...

hhhm... i just saw camyl's new 'hair-do'.... i can't think of anything to comment... or criticize... hahaha!!!

well, i was supposed to plug another song... but i'm exhausted already so i'll just do that next time... hehe...

huwao... happy new year everyone!!! bless ya'll!!! g'bye!!!

third time

2004-12-30T07:47:00.000-08:00

naubos ang pera ko...

nakakabagot!!! hehe... ngayon, i'm moneyless... huhu... we went to ATC kanina... and i spent my money... as in i spent talaga... kaya nga ako naubusan eh!!!

hindi ko na nga matandaan ung mga pinamili ko... basta ang tanda ko ay i bought a book by morrie schwartz [ung sa 'tuesdays with morrie'] na ang title is 'Letting Go'... aww... dapat bibilhin ko ung kay Dan Brown... ung isa pa niyang book... nalimutan ko na ung title...

bumili rin ako ng mga albums ni kitchie nadal at rivermaya... ung sa rivermaya eh ung greatest hits nila... ang astig nga eh... lolx... support OPM!!! hehe...

kumain ako sa CPK... ng pagkain... ano pa nga ba?! hehe... pizza tsaka pasta kinain ko... at hindi ako nabusog kahit masarap ung food.

andami-dami ko pang gagawin!!! hehe... meron kaming 'joint project' ni camyl... gagawa kami ng website... about stars on fire... hehe... ang astig ng theme!!!

ayan... actually dapat bibili pa ako ng isang CD eh... ung music ng mga underground bands na astig, pero naubusan ako ng pera... kawawa naman ako!!! pati load wala akong pambili!!!

kararating ko lang at gabi na... buti na lang naabutan ko pa ung replay ng FRIENDS sa starworld... na adik na ata ako dun ah... hehe

pero like i said, everything is a beautiful disaster... ang disaster eh nawalan ako ng pera... ang beauty naman eh natuto akong mag-save... diba?!?! hehe... un na lang kaya ang new year's resolution ko?! hehe... un na lang!!!

hehe... sige, g'bye!!!

second time

2004-12-29T17:25:00.000-08:00

'being grown up... isn't half as fun as growing up... these are the best days of our lives...
the only thing that matters is just following your heart... and eventually you'll finally get it right...'

The Ataris- In this Diary

i just wanna plug that song... this song is one of the best songs that i've heard my entire life.

they always tell me that i should go spend some time alone for self-realizations... but what if you're direly missing this person so much? and at the same time you want to spend some time alone?

ang gulo ko.

hehe... life is so confusing... and i guess that's the beauty of it... beautiful disaster <-- damn... kasi if you've clearly figured out who you are in life... para bang mawawala na lang ung saysay ng life mo... right? naahh... whatever.

life is a question which can only be answered by us... yeah, i guess that's it. i just wanna go back to paragraph no. 2 after i plugged 'In this Diary'... ugh, i just don't understand... it's killing something inside...

what if your self-realization is that you don't want to be alone anymore? what if you were really destined to be with this person forever?

what if....

realizations are discovered truths... so meaning, we discover a truth about ourselves whenever we 'meditate' <-- whatta term! lolx... why is the truth so hard to do? pero come to think of it, when you actually get 'real'... it's quite fulfilling. let's stop bein' so stereotypical...

hehe... another beautiful disaster... but things like these shouldn't press out inquisitions on living life... challenge lang toh'!!! and no challenge is too hard for us... kahit minsan hindi natin matanggap un... we should go find the answers to our questions... find our destinies... [corny... but true!]

first time

2004-12-29T01:18:00.000-08:00

huwao... hehe... this is my first time writing a blog... what do you write in blogs ba?! hehe... anyways... thanks to the person reading this... thank you for wasting your time!!! j/k

well... what do i have to say... hhhm... actually i started this blog because of my 'moley' friend camyl... hehe... she said, 'hey, go start a blog and make hell!!' and i was like, 'aoww... ayt!!!'

i had nothing to do this christmas vacation naman so why not?!

i actually made the picture... from different other pictures... the pictures contain crows... and two angels... the former symbolizing death and the latter symbolizing life respectively.

i was browsing this book called 'you've got ketchup on your muumuu' when i stumbled upon this phrase called 'memento mori' which means 'remember that you have to die'... actually i was choosing between that and 'mea culpa' which means 'through your own fault'...

the reason why i chose these 'moody' themes was because i once encountered a passage which states that 'once we learn how to die, we learn how to live,' and believe me, it is so true.

i mean, we should go cherish our lives as best as we could... it's alright to commit mistakes... we should learn from it nga lang... sabi nga ni joss stone, 'i've got a right to be wrong...' hehe...

but still, we all need to sing our songs, be free, and learn from our mistakes... [hehe, corny]

cherising all the people around us is also favorable... and we shouldn't waste life. the only time when we think we are wasting life is the time when we think that we are alone... hehe... [corny na naman...]

hehe... sige, until here.... peace!!!

>-<